it is a well hot day today here, you can't even stand out in the sun for too long, forcing me to cut short my digging up of weeds in my new little allotment plot. when i got it on monday (for free!) the groundslady was pretty skeptical about whether i would be able to grow anythign this late in the year, but we (me and tess, my co plotter) are thinking that some herbs will be hardy enough to survive the winter outside, and maybe also some pumpkins. i just have to work out how much manure and stuff to put on and where and when, and we are off. people in the plots next to us are growing peppers, tomatos, broccoli and all sorts of great things.
it is almost totally silent down on the allotments, which is a mindcalming change from the last few days, which have been mega hectic. as part of my UC and the bomb class, we had to do a 'creative project', either direct action, education or long term planning. so me and this girl raquel were the only ones that wanted to do DA, and decided to tie it in with a meeting of the regents, who are the uni of california's top brass (who will earn $$$ from contracts with weapons labs) and responsible for all sorts of social and environmental evils, aswell as being completely unnacountable and deaf to the students wishes. so on friday i visited raquel's turquoise camper van (there is a camper van park at the top of campus which seems the most ethical and community based living arrangement on campus, plus well cheap) to spray paint some masks and banners with 'UC nuke free' etc on them. while i was there this guy came who had been diving for like massive oysters (can't remember what they are called here) and would we like some? so we ate these oysters or whatever in fajitas with avacado and loads of salad and stuff, was delicious. they all cook communily there all the time and even have a communal BBQ, which is a far cry from the sterilised canteens that i have to eat in.
and we also went to a couple of tedious, frustrating meetings about the PLAN for what we were going to do when the regents came (first time in 12 years or something) which culminated in us deciding that we there were too many variables (viz no. or police, location, numbers of people, willingness of people to be human shields etc) to actually make a plan, so we all went home.
then the next day about 2 or 300 of us massed and marched to the building the regents were due to meet in. i had forgotten how much i feel at home in the demo situation. the idea was to not let them get into the building to have their meeting, because each person in the meeting only had 30 seconds to speak and the regents didn't listen anyway. the regents would be silenced liek we are silenced when it comes to their decision making. so we arrive at the building, everyone ( making lots of noise, and there are some speakers, then we hear the regents haven't arrived yet, which is good news, so we go to all the doors of the buildings but, alas, on one of the doors the police came and formed a human shield so the regents slipped in and we had missed our chance. so everyone grouped together and had more speakers, then everyone decided to not let them out of the building, so we formed a human shield around the building for a while, linked arms, but nothing seemed to be happening and everyone was sort of milling then the new plan was to just group up around all the doors, which we did, and then out comes a couple of coppers with the regents! so arms lock tight and a copper pushes me and shouts at me to get out of the way and i say 'no officer' and the wall stays strong and they retreat. the regents look passive, or try and pretend to be slightly amused by the situation (there are 4 of them here at this point, 2 more have got away). then everyone expects them to try to get out a different door, but 5 minutes later one of the regents, a bit tall grey haired man comes out like he has just been like 'a bunch of students cant stop me', and again it was me and my mate richie who were quick enough to get infront of them and then everyone linked onto us and the fucking regent leans down to me (he is very tall) and he is like 'excuse me, but i have a kid to be picked up from kindergarten' and i say to him 'well mate, if you are going to involve yourself in these types of things you are going to have to face the consequences' and he shoves me a bit more then they retreat again. but then the cops try and forcibly push us all out, waving batons, and riche gets pulled to the ground by 2 coppers and his tshirt gets ripped but then a mob of people drag him away from the cops, but then suddenly everythign has turned ugly and this girl adele, a slight build african-american anarchist was being dragged along the floor by a load of cops, so everyone dives in to try and grab her back but the cops drag her into the building, but keep the door open, and so a load of us charge at the door, and it is almost like a rugby scrum with 3 lines of cops and about 7 lines of protesters (i assumed the scrum position) pushing, and we were getting the better of it, and they were being forced back and back and we were screaming 'LET THEM GO! LET THEM GO!' and the cops started screaming GET BACK! GET BACK! and then BANG out come the extended batons and they start smacking people at the front, so a few people fall back and suddenly i am right eyeball to eyeball with this screaming copper and i am screaming at him and he is being pushed back and this lasts about 4 seconds until a shithead cop behind the cop i was pushing against gets out his mace and for a second i think 'wow, the line of the mace looks beautiful' and then suddenly i can't see and my whole face is burning like never before and i struggle back from the crowd and try and get some water in my eyes, and then people and cameras are crowding round and about 6 of us have been maced and suddenly all the energy has gone out of the demo because people are SCARED and shocked by everything.
so the mace really really hurt, it got in my contact lenses so i had to take them out which hurt even more, then someone in a suit brought a bucket of ice and there were terse thank yous and then suddenly i was feeling pretty chuffed that i had actually had a scuffle with an all-american cop and he had chicked out and pepper sprayed me. then eveyone was shouting 'calm down, calm down' and everyone sat down and discussed what to do next. most people were concerned for the 3 people dragged into the building by the cops, but then there was word that they had brought in riot police from berkeley (san francisco) who were massing in a nearby carpark. and then everyone really got quite scared and, to cut a long story short, a deal was done whereby we agreed to let out the 2 remaining regents peacefully and then our friends would not be arrested, only 'cited' (fined). soon after i couldn't see anything and was pissed off that noone wanted to continue to fight (surely the people arrested would not have wanted us to just give up, and be forced to bargain witht he cops, because we had the upper hand adn they were still inside!) and a few of us said we wanted to continue a sit down protest but everyone was like 'no you are jeapordising the safety of our friends!' and i was like 'this has shown that the regents don't listen, they just call in the physical authority of the state, this is the pivotal moment!' and everyone thoguht i was being stupid and insensitive, except richie who agreed. so we took a peek at the riot cops then i went to collect my long board (that isn't mine), IT HAD BEEN STOLEN, but just cos all the abovew had happened and i was still feeling a bit shaky i barely thought 'oh shit' and just walked home in silence (my MP3 player broke the other day when i crashed on aformentioned long board)
then yesterday it turned out i was on the front page of the santa cruz sentinal (http://www.santacruzphotogallery.com/gallery/protest) having my eyes washed out after being maced, with richie in the other photo (of the guy sprawled out among cops). Then in the evening i had my UC an the bomb class where most people thought the action was a bad thing! we had a heated but reasoned debate but i was very sad at the general attitude of the students. the thing is, the protest was a natural reaction to everyone being silenced and denied the right to be heard, so OBVIOUSLY people are going to be angry, and whatever happens after that is the collective decision fo the group, and if all these pacifist ney sayers had been there, and there were 2000 people instead of 200 then maybe things would have been different, but you just can't stay at home and then tell everyone after what SHOULD have happened. but we were accused of being a mob and fighting for the said of fighting and what were we going to achieve anywya? the sting int he tail is that one of the girls arrested has been charged with an offence that coudl put her in prison 'battery of a police officer', and she coudl be expelled, so all the people who wanted to negotiate with the cops have been sold down the river like they were alwasy going to be.
but met some proper anarchist types who have promised to show me to sights (but were well secretive). apparently most of the good punk shows happen in houses rather than venues, which is cool too.
the reason i had a long board not a bike htat got stolen is another annoying thing- we did our usual guerilla cinema then music on the beach thing on friday, met some people but then i got a puncture so we went back to this girls house to try and fix it, but she didn't have the right type of pump, so she gave me her longboard so max could tow me to the bus stop and i left my bike there, but when i went back the next day to pick it up i couldn't for the life if me remember where her hosue was, because i was too pissed the night before to pay any attention to where i was.... so until next friday (if they come to guerilla cinema again) i am bikeless, and have to explain to her that i got her longboard stolen... shit.
only other big happenings of the week is that i have been allowed to move out, with no excess fees or anything (except $80 for the keys i lost), in a couple of weeks. this is really good news, gets me out of the campus bubble, cooking my own food, chilling with wider cross section of people, allowed to play music in my own space, cheaper, own room, garden, bike to the beach before breakfast etc etc. i went to visit last night, there were loads of people there (even though only 4 other people live there) and it was all quite rowdy, but i think that will make a nice and exciting change from here, even though i will probably get a lot less work done. they have huge plants everywhere, one of them is into jigsaws, they make homemade lemon and ginger ice tea and have a cat called parker (i hope the namesake of the thunderbirds character). everything there is just much more like a home and less like a hotel. my flatmates were ok when i broke the news to them- giancarlo already knew (was probably part of the decision making process), edmund pretend not to hear me and i had told max earlier, so all ok. max is thinking of putting in a tranfer request to a different room too, i don't blame him.
i am off to santa barbara for the weekend, 4 hours south (and HOT apparently) for a conference about nukes, there is a woman from yorkshire CND speaking i think which is quite funny. hope it is not another talking shop waste of time, but from the people i know who are going i don't think it will be. but i need to eat before i go- got a taco in the fridge- so will go.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Thursday
i am on another one of those literal losing streaks. in the past week i have lost my keys, my drum hoodie, my notebook, 2 pens and a pouch of baccy. the keys cost 80 bucks to replace! bastards. it is so frustrating, and i feel like as soon as i mission to find one thing i lose something else.
was vaguely searching the web for alternative living arrangements and came upon a house with a 'small room with big windows' that was only 450 a month (instead of 680 which i am paying to SHARE A ROOM with 2 other people) so i decided to go full swing to try and move out. but guess what? i have signed a contract saying i HAVE TO STAY on campus ALL YEAR unless i can prove i have suddenly become poor, or ill, or expelled. which is fucking bollocks. even if you have a morgage you can get out of it within a year. you could get out whenever you wanted at dinwiddy. BASTARDS. the more i find out (or rub up against) this university, the more it seems like a shitty corporation, which essentially i think it is.
so i went to visit the house that only costs $450 a month and WOW it is amazing! it is hard to find becuase it is surrounded by trees, it has a porch with a sofa, then a dog, a cat, a piano that belongs to the house, front and back garden, lots of instruments and 3 undeniably beautiful girls (and one not so beautiful girl) who are looking for a male roommate 'incase any shit goes down'. my room is about the same size as my room in dinwiddy, but with one of those raised (1 1/2 size) beds so there is quite alot of floor space. all the residents were well chilled, all in education, they 'try to limit parties to weekends', blaze and, judging by the short amount of time i was there, eat lots of avacados. and they liked me enough to offer me the room there an then, which i was chuffed about. so big emphasis on getting out of halls if at all possible. i think i upset max though, i told him earlier today that iw as thinking about moving out and he seemed quite sad (i would be well sad if he moved out- the people left don't even really add up to one persons worth of friendship) and then i got a call about htis house and went to see it straight away, btu couldn't be like 'yeah im off to view this house' cos my other flatmates were there and i wouldnt like to not be able to move out then have to live with them knowing that i want to. when i got back just now he was asleep, and we were due to go jam togehter so i woke him up and he didn't seem very happy and just went back to sleep instead of coming to jam. i will apologise and explain in the morning. also in the morning i am going to go and state my financial hardship case to the powers that be. i have put together a mostly truthful compelling case that can be backed up with mostly truthful evidence but after that night spent on york station platform i don't trust anyone in authority to trust or believe me.
perfect example of the climate of fear that is all around here: when people do their laundry(the room is right outside my front door) they sit and wait for it to be done, even though they live a minute away, incase it gets stolen, even though the washing machine doors lock!!!
the naked run happened two nights ago, it wasn't when i thought it was before. it was actually really brilliant- at one point there were at least a few hundred people, all running right around the campus which is quite big. a few people from my classes were on it, and i feel that has broken the ice a bit. unfortunately max didn't come, he was dillying and dallying and in the end i just had to go without him, but he was a bit annoyed at himself for not doing it in the end i think. i got cold after a while and went back and put some clothes on, then heard there was to be a drum circle, so took my sax, and when i got there it was indeed a drum circle but a naked drum circle, with everyone huddled close togehter and dancing. there was a girl there from my jazz class and so we had a bit of a duet to the drums. then someone came round with white body paint. there were some 'militant' naked people on the run who shouted at all the bystanders to join in, and occasionally one would go up and hug someone and they would run away or scream. it was justified i guess, because people were gawping and taking photos, but aswell it is sort of elitist in a way, like 'i dare to take all my clothes off and you have loads of inibitions and i feel great and you don't even know how great and liberated i feel', which is entirely against the spirit of it. but i guess it only matters which stance gets more people joining in.
went to san francisco on sunday and monday to watch a free bluegrass festival called 'hardly strictly bluegrass'. it was in a massive park in the centre of the city with 5 big stages, one called the 'porch stage' and anothe rthe 'rooster stage', and saw some great music. a guitar player who played bass, rhythm and lead and great political lyrics all at the same time can't remember his name, then elvis costello, looking cool, then bob weir from the grateful dead playing grateful dead songs. i had never heard grateful dead before but apparently they were huge. loads of people here have tshirts of them. i had only eaten 2 bananas and some cereal all day and i fell asleep whilst everyone danced around me. it was good though. they played electric guitar solos on an acoustic guitar.
we stayed at max's friend aileen's flat at san francisco state uni (they have a university wide network of unis called UC that i go to one of, then each state has its own uni aswell), where some people dress up as somethign every day (we saw a doctor, a 20s frenchman or something, 2 nurses and loads of people who looked like the most stereotypical hip hop pin ups constantly adjusting the ridiculous position of their caps). we travelled with a russian girl called anna who lives nearby who ha other friends at the uni, one of whom turned out to be a poet, and who spoke over the Mbira and talked of feeling lost but being ok. anna says in russia they call newly arrived immigrants as 'FOBS', 'fresh off the boats', and share with them a collective hate of rich persians.
on sunday night max took me on a huge badly planned mission around the whole bay area to try and catch thetrain to go home,- the train left from near where we were, but he took us to the furthest connection on the other side of the city, and we missed all the connections. we hadn't eaten all day and ended up stuck in the middle of industrial zonage just outside the city, but then we took a deep breath and found a fajita shop and then took a long walk in a random part of the city, midnight coffee and doughnuts and then back to san fran state with apologies.
i have met a guy in a punk band from LA who wants to bring his band and play a gig here, so i am going to try and put a night on and raise some of the £4200 judith and mariah need for school fees (a IT college in Holloway) so they can get a good chance of a full 2 year visa and good chances of ok employment after. i don't really know if being deported will affect their chances of getting a visa, but the website www.joskos.co.uk (i think) promises 'employment in the field within 6 months or your money back' and also offer help with visa applications. they specialise in foreign students i think. the band sound cool and thrashy but i havne't the first idea how to market a punk gig here. i havne't even been to one since i got here, even though there are loads going on. maybe something for next term.
oh! this morning i woke up to my first shoot from the seeds lauren gave me; it is tiny but there none the less. it has two mini leaves. someone gave me a basil plant on tuesday when i enquired where she got it. it was looking a bit yellow and ill, and still is, but i think it just needed some love.
in my Uc and the Bomb lecture (for which i had a presentation today that went quite well- all about Bechtel Corp and influence of big business on US nuclear policy aswell as project for new american century and all that ) we have to do a 'creative project' to get a good grade, and from about 20 people we had to split into groups to do either 'education, long term planning or direct action'. there were only 2 of us who wanted to do direct action! and all my proposals were met with an arkward silence, either they didn't understand me or thought i was being too radical. but they didn't say ;your being too radical' they just sort of sidestepped what is aid. and my ideas weren't even that bad, just stuff like having loud noises of war (bombs, planes etc) in the regents (managing board) meeting, or doing a sit in of the stage or a die in or whatever. so we are just going to fuck about wearing masks and handing out flyers and writing letters.
tonight alice showed me the hidden away studios, and played me some the tunes she is making. she has a truly exceptional voice, and can write much better tunes and words than i expected. got a bit of confidence back playing clarinet with her, you really don't have to do much to make the clarinet sound beautiful with piano, and it put into perspective all the worry i have about being substandard and not progressing musically. but anyway, going to try and record a song a month. i have even found a nice female vocalist (it is hard asking someone who already sings so well like alice to sing my songs, cos i always feel like they could just be singing their own songs instead).
ok, enough rambling. my flatmate edmund has been bitching about how the kitchen is 'always messy' and makes a point of washing up things i have alredy washed up up when i get in to make a point. so now i am going to wash up a bit.
was vaguely searching the web for alternative living arrangements and came upon a house with a 'small room with big windows' that was only 450 a month (instead of 680 which i am paying to SHARE A ROOM with 2 other people) so i decided to go full swing to try and move out. but guess what? i have signed a contract saying i HAVE TO STAY on campus ALL YEAR unless i can prove i have suddenly become poor, or ill, or expelled. which is fucking bollocks. even if you have a morgage you can get out of it within a year. you could get out whenever you wanted at dinwiddy. BASTARDS. the more i find out (or rub up against) this university, the more it seems like a shitty corporation, which essentially i think it is.
so i went to visit the house that only costs $450 a month and WOW it is amazing! it is hard to find becuase it is surrounded by trees, it has a porch with a sofa, then a dog, a cat, a piano that belongs to the house, front and back garden, lots of instruments and 3 undeniably beautiful girls (and one not so beautiful girl) who are looking for a male roommate 'incase any shit goes down'. my room is about the same size as my room in dinwiddy, but with one of those raised (1 1/2 size) beds so there is quite alot of floor space. all the residents were well chilled, all in education, they 'try to limit parties to weekends', blaze and, judging by the short amount of time i was there, eat lots of avacados. and they liked me enough to offer me the room there an then, which i was chuffed about. so big emphasis on getting out of halls if at all possible. i think i upset max though, i told him earlier today that iw as thinking about moving out and he seemed quite sad (i would be well sad if he moved out- the people left don't even really add up to one persons worth of friendship) and then i got a call about htis house and went to see it straight away, btu couldn't be like 'yeah im off to view this house' cos my other flatmates were there and i wouldnt like to not be able to move out then have to live with them knowing that i want to. when i got back just now he was asleep, and we were due to go jam togehter so i woke him up and he didn't seem very happy and just went back to sleep instead of coming to jam. i will apologise and explain in the morning. also in the morning i am going to go and state my financial hardship case to the powers that be. i have put together a mostly truthful compelling case that can be backed up with mostly truthful evidence but after that night spent on york station platform i don't trust anyone in authority to trust or believe me.
perfect example of the climate of fear that is all around here: when people do their laundry(the room is right outside my front door) they sit and wait for it to be done, even though they live a minute away, incase it gets stolen, even though the washing machine doors lock!!!
the naked run happened two nights ago, it wasn't when i thought it was before. it was actually really brilliant- at one point there were at least a few hundred people, all running right around the campus which is quite big. a few people from my classes were on it, and i feel that has broken the ice a bit. unfortunately max didn't come, he was dillying and dallying and in the end i just had to go without him, but he was a bit annoyed at himself for not doing it in the end i think. i got cold after a while and went back and put some clothes on, then heard there was to be a drum circle, so took my sax, and when i got there it was indeed a drum circle but a naked drum circle, with everyone huddled close togehter and dancing. there was a girl there from my jazz class and so we had a bit of a duet to the drums. then someone came round with white body paint. there were some 'militant' naked people on the run who shouted at all the bystanders to join in, and occasionally one would go up and hug someone and they would run away or scream. it was justified i guess, because people were gawping and taking photos, but aswell it is sort of elitist in a way, like 'i dare to take all my clothes off and you have loads of inibitions and i feel great and you don't even know how great and liberated i feel', which is entirely against the spirit of it. but i guess it only matters which stance gets more people joining in.
went to san francisco on sunday and monday to watch a free bluegrass festival called 'hardly strictly bluegrass'. it was in a massive park in the centre of the city with 5 big stages, one called the 'porch stage' and anothe rthe 'rooster stage', and saw some great music. a guitar player who played bass, rhythm and lead and great political lyrics all at the same time can't remember his name, then elvis costello, looking cool, then bob weir from the grateful dead playing grateful dead songs. i had never heard grateful dead before but apparently they were huge. loads of people here have tshirts of them. i had only eaten 2 bananas and some cereal all day and i fell asleep whilst everyone danced around me. it was good though. they played electric guitar solos on an acoustic guitar.
we stayed at max's friend aileen's flat at san francisco state uni (they have a university wide network of unis called UC that i go to one of, then each state has its own uni aswell), where some people dress up as somethign every day (we saw a doctor, a 20s frenchman or something, 2 nurses and loads of people who looked like the most stereotypical hip hop pin ups constantly adjusting the ridiculous position of their caps). we travelled with a russian girl called anna who lives nearby who ha other friends at the uni, one of whom turned out to be a poet, and who spoke over the Mbira and talked of feeling lost but being ok. anna says in russia they call newly arrived immigrants as 'FOBS', 'fresh off the boats', and share with them a collective hate of rich persians.
on sunday night max took me on a huge badly planned mission around the whole bay area to try and catch thetrain to go home,- the train left from near where we were, but he took us to the furthest connection on the other side of the city, and we missed all the connections. we hadn't eaten all day and ended up stuck in the middle of industrial zonage just outside the city, but then we took a deep breath and found a fajita shop and then took a long walk in a random part of the city, midnight coffee and doughnuts and then back to san fran state with apologies.
i have met a guy in a punk band from LA who wants to bring his band and play a gig here, so i am going to try and put a night on and raise some of the £4200 judith and mariah need for school fees (a IT college in Holloway) so they can get a good chance of a full 2 year visa and good chances of ok employment after. i don't really know if being deported will affect their chances of getting a visa, but the website www.joskos.co.uk (i think) promises 'employment in the field within 6 months or your money back' and also offer help with visa applications. they specialise in foreign students i think. the band sound cool and thrashy but i havne't the first idea how to market a punk gig here. i havne't even been to one since i got here, even though there are loads going on. maybe something for next term.
oh! this morning i woke up to my first shoot from the seeds lauren gave me; it is tiny but there none the less. it has two mini leaves. someone gave me a basil plant on tuesday when i enquired where she got it. it was looking a bit yellow and ill, and still is, but i think it just needed some love.
in my Uc and the Bomb lecture (for which i had a presentation today that went quite well- all about Bechtel Corp and influence of big business on US nuclear policy aswell as project for new american century and all that ) we have to do a 'creative project' to get a good grade, and from about 20 people we had to split into groups to do either 'education, long term planning or direct action'. there were only 2 of us who wanted to do direct action! and all my proposals were met with an arkward silence, either they didn't understand me or thought i was being too radical. but they didn't say ;your being too radical' they just sort of sidestepped what is aid. and my ideas weren't even that bad, just stuff like having loud noises of war (bombs, planes etc) in the regents (managing board) meeting, or doing a sit in of the stage or a die in or whatever. so we are just going to fuck about wearing masks and handing out flyers and writing letters.
tonight alice showed me the hidden away studios, and played me some the tunes she is making. she has a truly exceptional voice, and can write much better tunes and words than i expected. got a bit of confidence back playing clarinet with her, you really don't have to do much to make the clarinet sound beautiful with piano, and it put into perspective all the worry i have about being substandard and not progressing musically. but anyway, going to try and record a song a month. i have even found a nice female vocalist (it is hard asking someone who already sings so well like alice to sing my songs, cos i always feel like they could just be singing their own songs instead).
ok, enough rambling. my flatmate edmund has been bitching about how the kitchen is 'always messy' and makes a point of washing up things i have alredy washed up up when i get in to make a point. so now i am going to wash up a bit.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
attached
it was 'first rain' here (of the autumn), when generally people here go running naked. about 9pm there was a big siren that went off, but i didn't go to it. i was busy. tit is getting quite chilly here, more so than i thought. the forest smells so different and lovely now though.
the most productive things i have done all week are buy a bike, some honey to go with my frozen yoghurt, and done an hour of volunteer work for the food coop. i was like 'can i volunteer for the coop?' and the girl was like 'take out the trash' and then 'sweep up' and then 'do the washing up' i was well chuffed. who says anarchists never take the bin out?
had a pretty great night the other night. it was friday, and me and max both had bikes (i got a bike!) for the first evening and we were going to head down to the guerilla cinema then maybe jam on the beach, so strapped sax to back and rode off, but didn't get far before saw man with drum, so had a jam with him, then a adrenaline pumping ride down a long fast hill(at loeast 2 or 3 km) with no lights int he pitch black and cars whizzing by. then i tried to use my fake national railcard id to buy some wine, didn't work, so we went into the safeway car park, got out instruments, and played until a random norwegian guy came and agreed to buy us some wine. then down the train tracks to the cinema, it was 10pm by now and it was meant to start at 8, but you know what anarchists wer elike, and we were just in time for the beginning of the feature, called 'life and debt', all about the IMF and WTO effects on jamaica. it was really eye opening; ever time i hear about the IMF i remember how TOTALLY and holistically they fuck over countries and leave them with no options. it was done by starting off with US tourists and it took you through their bubble existence and then would spin off to the issues, so the tourist eats a banana and it goes off on one about how the banana trade has been destroyed etc etc. but some intense images- beautiful milk being poured down the drain by the gallons because of US subsidised powdered milk (the us subsidise it 134%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) whilst down the road rastafarians go through the open cast rubbish.
an old bearded man called 'the mule skinner' started talking to us, i think primarily because we had some wine, and he had some weed (i had left mine at home by accident) so all were happy. he told us stories like a proper american, "i was the fastest mule skinner north of santa rosa", and i was like 'are you a travellin' man?" and he was like 'ahhh, i need to git me a mule, then we can go up to the north country! hahaha i ain't never left here before" and then for ages when he figured i was english he was like "hahahahahaha!!! you from eeengland!!! hahaha, well ain't that something". all this time most of the people watching the film could hear him, and i am sure were getting pretty pissed off with him, so eventually iwas like lets go to the beach after this and talk but now lets watch the film etc etc and then another hobo came called bruce, and when the film finished (i woudl really recommend the film) me, max and bruce went to the nearest beach (one straight road away) nd by now i was rushing and excited by the sea and sang a song abotu the sea
and bruce got int he spirit and sang along, and then had some really lovely (but slightly impatient) moments playing the sax loud to the sea and dodging waves whilst still playing, was amazing, then max played some gypsyish guitar and i danced and realised i hadn't dance for ages and had missed it without knowing and then we spoke, and then we were meant to be meeting one of maxs friends who had a beach hut and was a having a bit of a do and he rang them and they were heading to another beach up the coast, but bruce knew wehre it was, and then i was like 'so are you coming bruce?' and he was like 'do you feel comfortable me coming?' and i was like 'well, ofcourse i do, cos we are having a great time, and so does max, but we both know that when we get there the preppy punks who are there weill be like 'who is that hobo?' and might not be top class' and he was like 'yes... i know when to say goodnight' and he was going to take us fishing and we said goodbye. then we headed int he direction we were told, biking and feeling free on the quiet coast road and then this stupid 4 by 4 drove past and someone shouted out of the window 'I LOVE YOU!' and i shouted back 'GET A SMALLER CAR!" and then we chased the car and then we lost it and then it was behind us again and it stopped and we asked them where X beach was and they were like 'do you want a riattade?' and so we put our bikes in their ample boot and got in. and anyway it turns out these people are sort of in a way the people i have been waiting to meet for a while- one of them was JUST LIKE commie cath, looked like her and was an artist but younger and less cynical and without a cackle. and can't remember the names of her two friends but anyway, they were all about telling everyone they met that they were beautiful and went on 'vision quests' where they go out into the desert and fast and have thoughts, and live in a buddhist commune (which has space and is really cheap and is close to campus...) and have medical cards for medicinal amrajuina and it was lovely chilling with them on the beach etc. we went for a spontanious naked swim!! and long chats. but even in that situation i was a bit cynical with all their hippie chatter, not that i doidn't agree with an of it, but i dunno, i guess maybe i am just more conciouos of all the shit outside (and inside) of the lovely beach town. maybe just anger at myself for being troo politically inert. but anyway, every event of the evening seemed to conspire together to make for a wonderful evening
but then max lost his bike lock so our bikes are still at the beach till his mum mails him the spare! bit of a shitter. we were meant to go today but he didn't pick up his mail in time.
on friday daytime i had made a 'decoupage flowerpot' (i think decoupage is the act of sticking things together with half pvc glue, half water) out of an old big tin can and a few copies of the new yorker and other papers. then put the paper-with-seeds-in that lauren gave me in the pot, and soil, and poked some holes int he bottom, and now i am just waiting for flowers
but anyway, i digress. the people we met on friday invited us to a birthday party near campus for the next day.. got there, and was treated like a wierd smelly party crasher by the people int he room that opened the door to me. was a bit wierd, but then went into the garden where the people who we met the other night were at, and it was really great, met some really top class guys and gals. there was a guy with a tshirt saying 'save dafur' and i asked him 'how would you save dafur' and he said somethign like 'well, the UN won't do anything and the arabs are too unruly to sort themselves out so america should take unilateral action " and i was like 'do you want america to invade dafur" and he said 'well, the word /invade is a /bit troublesome...' and i was like 'are you jewish' and he was like 'yeah and also a zionist'. but at least the conversation was stimulating. i met a guy who i had previously met at a bike coop, and we chatted about music when we met again and then i went and chatted with someone else and sparked a fat spliff, and he tapped me on the shoulder and said 'do you know that gives you cancer?' and wow, i didn't smoke again at the party i got a bit noiad. then later am Mbira jam with 2 beatboxers and 2 really great MCs, possibly the most intelligent, relaxed MCing i have ever heard from this guy who just looked and behaved like a sort of skinny tall george. he rhymed rasputin with disputin'.
adn they had 2 kegs of newcastle brown ale!!!! hahahaha that was all the alcohol there was, great eh? tasted great. but the best thing there was the conversation, it reminded me of how bubbled up campus is;because they were in a stimulated environment the conversation was just so much more significant.
and there was talk of a buhhdist coop just outside the campus, and also two coops in the town, both of which are dirt cheap and have spaces... i think maybe i will move out of my campus bubble at christmas. it is ok here, but i had a bit of a revelation last night remembering that i was here to experience AMERICA aswell as uni life in america, and i have seen plenty of uni life here and it isn't THAT cool, even thoguh it is very beautiful and easy. and i thought if i had the same militant attitude as 2 years ago when i properly was intent on smashing the system then i would be actively seeking out somewhere else than a campus to live on, i would be trying to be in a coop from day one, and i think i have been a bit blinded by convenience here. the only drawbacks to living in the town would be thats its a mission to get into uni every morning and i might do less work, but i will be in a town with a proper social structure not an imposed, artificial one. so i am going to get someone to take me to one i hope. what do you think? it will be difficult to say goodbye to max and a fewothers, but i think he will understand and it makes social if not logistical sense. i was thinknig last night this is my first chance to do the proper alternative living thing, and it has taken so long to be in this position that i have forgot i wanted to do it!
then , sunday, alice and her flatmate tess cooked a delicious sunday dinner. tess's thing was to cook her flatmates sunday dinner back in dublin where she went to uni so it was all carrot and cream cheese, chicken stock, sausages, roasted veggies , apple crumble and cream. tasty to the extreme. it was so nice to eat a meal around a table with good quality food and drink and pride taken in the cooking. then some Mbira with alice, then went home and cleaned the bath (as according to our new cleaning rota, as part of our 'living agreement', where we had to decide by what time of the evenign our chores would be done, and how long we can leave things in the drying area and for fucks sake man, there haven't even been any issues since we got here!!! stupid.)
then practiced john coltrane's mr PC on guitar and clarinet, then went off to the piano at the nearest dining hall but it was pitch black and we didn't have light so we just played in the pitch black improv, not coltrane, and it was going nicely and then these two guys appeared and asked if they could jam, and we said yes, and then a minute later like 8 people came dancing down the stairs, one with a flute and one with a violin, and it was all very dark so we couldn't really see each others faces so i just went over and was well intense with the flute player and she was into it and we swapped ideas and managed IT at times and all the others danced and sang and whooped and max kept banging out the chords on the piano and it was AMAZING!!! and it went on and on.
most common questions people ask me - 'where are you from' england 'which part?' yorkshire... in the north east. and generally peopel don't know ANYWHERE in london except for london and manchester united, so why do they bother asking?.
so that was class, then they had classes int he morning, so did max, but earlier i had given $10 to some people visiting a flat furthur down who worked for UPS to get me some wine. so went to pick it up, and we headed down to the 'meadow', where everyone gathers on a night but where i have never been to yet, and there was noone there cos it was 1am on a sunday, but we sat down, 4 boys and 3 girls who all knew each other and me sort of, and they smoked a BLUNT ala kids and the north bay, and i smoked, and there were only 3 of us smoking and i got SO STONED, like very very stoned, and then we were walking and i was suddenly like 'who the fuck are these people who i am with, i cna't remember what i am doing here at all' and noone was talking to me, and then they did and i was so stoned i could only say yes and no and so they left me alone and i withdrew into muself fast and it was proper all encompassing paranoia but i didn't know where we were and didn't have a torch of my own so i had to stay with them and walk behind them and then left at the first opportunity, but it was HORRIBLE. and then i came back to my flat and fortunately giancarlo had gone to bed, and i really battled hard not to be noiad with my flatmates, and once i had managed to tell them what had happened it was ok and we watched cartoons then slept, but SHIT MAN i was so stoned, i was lying in bed tripping for about an hour. all the signs are pointing to me just stopping smoking (lots of) weed.
and now it is tuesday and another day full of music. jazz today was excellent again, i feel inspired every lesson, but music of india is a bit slow. this evening we had a lecture on 'how to make an atomic bomb' in our UC and the bomb lecture. we are going to los alamos, where they design all the US bombs, to have a look around, should be quite good. someone walked past me outside the music centre in a tshirt with 'ISREALI AIRFORCE' and the crest in big letters on the front.
what is the point of itunes? i only realised recently that when you convert a song on your laptop to itunres format or rip a cd in itunes, it doesn't let you share it freely, and you can only give it to a certain amount of people. what a load of shit!especially at a time when music is becoming freer and freer. why do people not just boycott itunes and use any of the other thousand ways of playing music on cd players, computers and mp3 players and just use MP3s? i guess it is something to do with the aesthetics of the ipod. mayube one day it will be impossible to sell music because it will all be on the internet, so musical artists and groups will have to earn their money by PLAYING music live to people. having said all that, it is possible her (if you have itues) to listen to anyone elses itunes collection in our college who is on the network, which at any one time is massive. that is cool.
so another week has passed by, and i do feel more settled and with purpose. once again there are not enough hours in the day to do all the things i want to do, and i think i prefer it this way. i do want to get off campus more though and meet a more diverse group of people. i am going back to san francisco this coming weekend to a free bluegrass festival, so that will give me a weekend away.
attached is a photo of my three flatmates, from left edmund, giancarlo and max. their expressions are to an extent reflective of their personalities.
it is late.
sam sent me an email about his first throes in Dinwiddy, and i wanted to be there with him. when i read emails sometimes i am back in england.
the most productive things i have done all week are buy a bike, some honey to go with my frozen yoghurt, and done an hour of volunteer work for the food coop. i was like 'can i volunteer for the coop?' and the girl was like 'take out the trash' and then 'sweep up' and then 'do the washing up' i was well chuffed. who says anarchists never take the bin out?
had a pretty great night the other night. it was friday, and me and max both had bikes (i got a bike!) for the first evening and we were going to head down to the guerilla cinema then maybe jam on the beach, so strapped sax to back and rode off, but didn't get far before saw man with drum, so had a jam with him, then a adrenaline pumping ride down a long fast hill(at loeast 2 or 3 km) with no lights int he pitch black and cars whizzing by. then i tried to use my fake national railcard id to buy some wine, didn't work, so we went into the safeway car park, got out instruments, and played until a random norwegian guy came and agreed to buy us some wine. then down the train tracks to the cinema, it was 10pm by now and it was meant to start at 8, but you know what anarchists wer elike, and we were just in time for the beginning of the feature, called 'life and debt', all about the IMF and WTO effects on jamaica. it was really eye opening; ever time i hear about the IMF i remember how TOTALLY and holistically they fuck over countries and leave them with no options. it was done by starting off with US tourists and it took you through their bubble existence and then would spin off to the issues, so the tourist eats a banana and it goes off on one about how the banana trade has been destroyed etc etc. but some intense images- beautiful milk being poured down the drain by the gallons because of US subsidised powdered milk (the us subsidise it 134%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) whilst down the road rastafarians go through the open cast rubbish.
an old bearded man called 'the mule skinner' started talking to us, i think primarily because we had some wine, and he had some weed (i had left mine at home by accident) so all were happy. he told us stories like a proper american, "i was the fastest mule skinner north of santa rosa", and i was like 'are you a travellin' man?" and he was like 'ahhh, i need to git me a mule, then we can go up to the north country! hahaha i ain't never left here before" and then for ages when he figured i was english he was like "hahahahahaha!!! you from eeengland!!! hahaha, well ain't that something". all this time most of the people watching the film could hear him, and i am sure were getting pretty pissed off with him, so eventually iwas like lets go to the beach after this and talk but now lets watch the film etc etc and then another hobo came called bruce, and when the film finished (i woudl really recommend the film) me, max and bruce went to the nearest beach (one straight road away) nd by now i was rushing and excited by the sea and sang a song abotu the sea
and bruce got int he spirit and sang along, and then had some really lovely (but slightly impatient) moments playing the sax loud to the sea and dodging waves whilst still playing, was amazing, then max played some gypsyish guitar and i danced and realised i hadn't dance for ages and had missed it without knowing and then we spoke, and then we were meant to be meeting one of maxs friends who had a beach hut and was a having a bit of a do and he rang them and they were heading to another beach up the coast, but bruce knew wehre it was, and then i was like 'so are you coming bruce?' and he was like 'do you feel comfortable me coming?' and i was like 'well, ofcourse i do, cos we are having a great time, and so does max, but we both know that when we get there the preppy punks who are there weill be like 'who is that hobo?' and might not be top class' and he was like 'yes... i know when to say goodnight' and he was going to take us fishing and we said goodbye. then we headed int he direction we were told, biking and feeling free on the quiet coast road and then this stupid 4 by 4 drove past and someone shouted out of the window 'I LOVE YOU!' and i shouted back 'GET A SMALLER CAR!" and then we chased the car and then we lost it and then it was behind us again and it stopped and we asked them where X beach was and they were like 'do you want a riattade?' and so we put our bikes in their ample boot and got in. and anyway it turns out these people are sort of in a way the people i have been waiting to meet for a while- one of them was JUST LIKE commie cath, looked like her and was an artist but younger and less cynical and without a cackle. and can't remember the names of her two friends but anyway, they were all about telling everyone they met that they were beautiful and went on 'vision quests' where they go out into the desert and fast and have thoughts, and live in a buddhist commune (which has space and is really cheap and is close to campus...) and have medical cards for medicinal amrajuina and it was lovely chilling with them on the beach etc. we went for a spontanious naked swim!! and long chats. but even in that situation i was a bit cynical with all their hippie chatter, not that i doidn't agree with an of it, but i dunno, i guess maybe i am just more conciouos of all the shit outside (and inside) of the lovely beach town. maybe just anger at myself for being troo politically inert. but anyway, every event of the evening seemed to conspire together to make for a wonderful evening
but then max lost his bike lock so our bikes are still at the beach till his mum mails him the spare! bit of a shitter. we were meant to go today but he didn't pick up his mail in time.
on friday daytime i had made a 'decoupage flowerpot' (i think decoupage is the act of sticking things together with half pvc glue, half water) out of an old big tin can and a few copies of the new yorker and other papers. then put the paper-with-seeds-in that lauren gave me in the pot, and soil, and poked some holes int he bottom, and now i am just waiting for flowers
but anyway, i digress. the people we met on friday invited us to a birthday party near campus for the next day.. got there, and was treated like a wierd smelly party crasher by the people int he room that opened the door to me. was a bit wierd, but then went into the garden where the people who we met the other night were at, and it was really great, met some really top class guys and gals. there was a guy with a tshirt saying 'save dafur' and i asked him 'how would you save dafur' and he said somethign like 'well, the UN won't do anything and the arabs are too unruly to sort themselves out so america should take unilateral action " and i was like 'do you want america to invade dafur" and he said 'well, the word /invade is a /bit troublesome...' and i was like 'are you jewish' and he was like 'yeah and also a zionist'. but at least the conversation was stimulating. i met a guy who i had previously met at a bike coop, and we chatted about music when we met again and then i went and chatted with someone else and sparked a fat spliff, and he tapped me on the shoulder and said 'do you know that gives you cancer?' and wow, i didn't smoke again at the party i got a bit noiad. then later am Mbira jam with 2 beatboxers and 2 really great MCs, possibly the most intelligent, relaxed MCing i have ever heard from this guy who just looked and behaved like a sort of skinny tall george. he rhymed rasputin with disputin'.
adn they had 2 kegs of newcastle brown ale!!!! hahahaha that was all the alcohol there was, great eh? tasted great. but the best thing there was the conversation, it reminded me of how bubbled up campus is;because they were in a stimulated environment the conversation was just so much more significant.
and there was talk of a buhhdist coop just outside the campus, and also two coops in the town, both of which are dirt cheap and have spaces... i think maybe i will move out of my campus bubble at christmas. it is ok here, but i had a bit of a revelation last night remembering that i was here to experience AMERICA aswell as uni life in america, and i have seen plenty of uni life here and it isn't THAT cool, even thoguh it is very beautiful and easy. and i thought if i had the same militant attitude as 2 years ago when i properly was intent on smashing the system then i would be actively seeking out somewhere else than a campus to live on, i would be trying to be in a coop from day one, and i think i have been a bit blinded by convenience here. the only drawbacks to living in the town would be thats its a mission to get into uni every morning and i might do less work, but i will be in a town with a proper social structure not an imposed, artificial one. so i am going to get someone to take me to one i hope. what do you think? it will be difficult to say goodbye to max and a fewothers, but i think he will understand and it makes social if not logistical sense. i was thinknig last night this is my first chance to do the proper alternative living thing, and it has taken so long to be in this position that i have forgot i wanted to do it!
then , sunday, alice and her flatmate tess cooked a delicious sunday dinner. tess's thing was to cook her flatmates sunday dinner back in dublin where she went to uni so it was all carrot and cream cheese, chicken stock, sausages, roasted veggies , apple crumble and cream. tasty to the extreme. it was so nice to eat a meal around a table with good quality food and drink and pride taken in the cooking. then some Mbira with alice, then went home and cleaned the bath (as according to our new cleaning rota, as part of our 'living agreement', where we had to decide by what time of the evenign our chores would be done, and how long we can leave things in the drying area and for fucks sake man, there haven't even been any issues since we got here!!! stupid.)
then practiced john coltrane's mr PC on guitar and clarinet, then went off to the piano at the nearest dining hall but it was pitch black and we didn't have light so we just played in the pitch black improv, not coltrane, and it was going nicely and then these two guys appeared and asked if they could jam, and we said yes, and then a minute later like 8 people came dancing down the stairs, one with a flute and one with a violin, and it was all very dark so we couldn't really see each others faces so i just went over and was well intense with the flute player and she was into it and we swapped ideas and managed IT at times and all the others danced and sang and whooped and max kept banging out the chords on the piano and it was AMAZING!!! and it went on and on.
most common questions people ask me - 'where are you from' england 'which part?' yorkshire... in the north east. and generally peopel don't know ANYWHERE in london except for london and manchester united, so why do they bother asking?.
so that was class, then they had classes int he morning, so did max, but earlier i had given $10 to some people visiting a flat furthur down who worked for UPS to get me some wine. so went to pick it up, and we headed down to the 'meadow', where everyone gathers on a night but where i have never been to yet, and there was noone there cos it was 1am on a sunday, but we sat down, 4 boys and 3 girls who all knew each other and me sort of, and they smoked a BLUNT ala kids and the north bay, and i smoked, and there were only 3 of us smoking and i got SO STONED, like very very stoned, and then we were walking and i was suddenly like 'who the fuck are these people who i am with, i cna't remember what i am doing here at all' and noone was talking to me, and then they did and i was so stoned i could only say yes and no and so they left me alone and i withdrew into muself fast and it was proper all encompassing paranoia but i didn't know where we were and didn't have a torch of my own so i had to stay with them and walk behind them and then left at the first opportunity, but it was HORRIBLE. and then i came back to my flat and fortunately giancarlo had gone to bed, and i really battled hard not to be noiad with my flatmates, and once i had managed to tell them what had happened it was ok and we watched cartoons then slept, but SHIT MAN i was so stoned, i was lying in bed tripping for about an hour. all the signs are pointing to me just stopping smoking (lots of) weed.
and now it is tuesday and another day full of music. jazz today was excellent again, i feel inspired every lesson, but music of india is a bit slow. this evening we had a lecture on 'how to make an atomic bomb' in our UC and the bomb lecture. we are going to los alamos, where they design all the US bombs, to have a look around, should be quite good. someone walked past me outside the music centre in a tshirt with 'ISREALI AIRFORCE' and the crest in big letters on the front.
what is the point of itunes? i only realised recently that when you convert a song on your laptop to itunres format or rip a cd in itunes, it doesn't let you share it freely, and you can only give it to a certain amount of people. what a load of shit!especially at a time when music is becoming freer and freer. why do people not just boycott itunes and use any of the other thousand ways of playing music on cd players, computers and mp3 players and just use MP3s? i guess it is something to do with the aesthetics of the ipod. mayube one day it will be impossible to sell music because it will all be on the internet, so musical artists and groups will have to earn their money by PLAYING music live to people. having said all that, it is possible her (if you have itues) to listen to anyone elses itunes collection in our college who is on the network, which at any one time is massive. that is cool.
so another week has passed by, and i do feel more settled and with purpose. once again there are not enough hours in the day to do all the things i want to do, and i think i prefer it this way. i do want to get off campus more though and meet a more diverse group of people. i am going back to san francisco this coming weekend to a free bluegrass festival, so that will give me a weekend away.
attached is a photo of my three flatmates, from left edmund, giancarlo and max. their expressions are to an extent reflective of their personalities.
it is late.
sam sent me an email about his first throes in Dinwiddy, and i wanted to be there with him. when i read emails sometimes i am back in england.
Friday, September 29, 2006
2nd letter home
just got back from this terms first College Republican meeting. It wasn't as gory as i had hoped. there were about 30 people, with a lady chairwoman clearly being groomed to be some republican intern somewhere. lots of 'tabling quips' (rehashed stories of being abused or loved whilst doing stalls), 'hippie' bashing, pleas for help canvassing in San Diego next month, and only one mention of the KKK ("we should have all worn suits or em.... white hoods to scare all the new people.... errr bad joke"). then the local candidate came in with pizza and coke and made a speech about the 'big tent' of the republican party and 'moderate, reagan like republicanism' "who freed slaves? the republicans. who gave women the vote? the republicans? who set up the national parks agency? the republicans" and so it went on. he even claimed the biggest section of the californian gay population were republicans.
i was hoping to be able to tell you how my second jazz theory lesson went, at which we were due to be playing a blues infront of the rest of the class. i have been practicing for a few days, asking many people what they thought the idea of the blues distilled into, reading books and tying myself into knots (after that disastrous clarinet audition i wasn't feeling very confident). however, max found a grand piano in one of the dining halls (which naturally has a wicked acoustic) and three nights ago we went there and just RIPPED and all my fears were assuaged. it was really really special man, i felt like a flying fish, fluttering around between the piano chords and finding the path of least resistance and then occasionally going for it and jumping high out of the water and holding it for as long as the atmosphere would allow and then plunging back down again and then shutting up for a while. it just sounded rounded and exciting and beautiful in parts. we went to a different piano last night with some more structured chord progressions in mind and it was a different thing we were producing but as good in different ways. for years i have been unable to make the leap between playing my own blues scale with bits of chromaticism and vaguely following the accompaniment to be able to place individual notes with specific functions and movements into the music, and therefore to extend and/or implicate the harmony of what is going on, but things are starting to fall into place now and the clarinet is looking more like a piano in my head. which makes ben a very excited boy. but anyway, the it is so lucky that i have winded up with a great piano player that is also a great person living one and a bit metres below me (he is on the bottom bunk). he is very unassuming, but you can tell he has grown up in a very stimulated environment. he just casually drops in things like 'oh, you know tom waits? yeah, he's my dads friend'. it also turns out he has a semi-broken heart, having split up with his first love just before he came here, even though she came here too! it is a long sad story with lots of victims (her brother died in a car crash earlier in the year and max ended up organising the funeral) but he still thinks one day their love will prevail. you;ve got to admire a person who is totally caught up in the mega-emotions of love and loss and is so cheery and nice you don't even notice.
talking of loss and death, a girl from the university jumped off a bridge to her death on saturday, word on campus is that her weed was laced... not very pretty man. she was 18.
but anyway, my final course choice for this term are jazz theory, music of india and 'UC and the bomb', all of which i have on tues and thurs (so i have mon, wed, fri off). the readings for jazz theory are pretty mental; it is the lectures own book and it is all about god and uniting the mind, body and spirit, and long metaphores about roses and the blues.:
"...thus, when our awareness broadens, heaven then becomes more than a place in which to either believe or refute; it can become a level of consciousness..."
"...spirituality is channeled through our spirit and uses the intuitive self and subconcious mind to translate and decode messages'
the lecturer is a really great musician, and it is great that he is taking 'jazz theory' to mean something more holistic that technical method, but i just get the feeling reading to his stuff that he thinks he is able to write down what is a really abstract concept and set of emotions in himself that are not necessarily universal. he also talks quite alot about god and implies that you need a connection with Him to truly feel the ;'creative spirit'. but anyhow, we will see what happens.
music of india is pretty cool- there are a few hundred in our class, compared to about 15 at SOAS, quite a change, and the lecturer is a great sitar player who plays in our lessons (for my fellow widdessians, alice went and chatted with the lecturer, told him the score and when he found out Widdess was our teacher, he apparently got well excited and told us not bother coming to his class cos we must know it all already from Widdess! apparently he is world famous inindian music circles. so he invited us to his graduate class, which i have so far sacked off).
UC and the bomb is very interesting- there is no teacher, it is all peer to peer learning with a couple of faciliters, which is great stuff except a bit slow as the facilitaters are hugely eager to make sure the consensus decision making is working, leading to lots of pauses. but we have had good discussions pon nuclear policy and more general foreign policy. they are an interesting bunch of people that take the class. one of the facilitators is a spitting image of Kai, and is called Kai!!!!!! the only other kai i have ever met. and even has the same hair, except longer and with dreadlocks piled on his head. we are all going on a field trip to a nuclear research facility in a couple of weeks.
went on a 'disorientation tour' with the general activists around campus, passing where they had got rid of military rectruiters, etc etc (the stop the war group were on a government list of subversive groups for a while) and ended up at this huge tree called tree 9 with loads of great branches so it was easy to climb to the top. it was MASSIVE and when i was half way up i thought i woudl stay there, but gradually i worked my way up and beat my fear and got to the top, where there was a beautiful view, a laminated photograph of the same view pinned to the tree and a interesting conversation about resurgent german fascism with a german feminist who was also at the top. but there were good people on the talk.
food is something that is occupying my thoughts quite alot at the moment. i was forced to buy a '55 day meal plan' as part of my housing contract, which means that roughly once a day it is 'all you care to eat' for me. and the choice is quite immense- every day there is pizza, pasta, burgers, chips, burritos and torillas, salads, all manner of sandwiches, industrial size tubs of mayonnaise, plus whatever food they have cooked specifically that day, like a meal or whatever etc etc and so in the beginning i was really taking advantage of all this (keeping the TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL FOOD OPPORTUNITIES mindset of SOAS) but then i started feeling greasy and bloated. but on the plus side, i put some bagels down my pants every lunch and then have breakfast the next day for free. it was also time for the occasional 'organic food vs cheap food' debate the other shopping day, with all the other factors playing themselves out (type of shop, type of things i needed, does coconut milk need to be fair trade?) but in the end the nicer food won, mainly because i was outside a nice shop at the time, but i went to safeway anyway because you can get 4 litres of tropicana for $5, (£3) with a clubcard. what can you do? but anyway, had delicious spinach, broccoli, strange mushroom, coconut and onion with rice last night so it was worth it i think.
on friday me and max went to see 'paradise now', a film about two potential palestinian suicide bombers, at a 'guerilla cinema' showing on the side of a warehouse on some disused train tracks near campus. we got there 30 mins late, and guess whose voice comes wafting down the train track? none other than george galloway, who is on the screen being interviewed about lebanon and being his usual aggressive self. jokes. the americans were loving it (he was wearing these red rimmed glasses). i was cringing till the end, when he really layed into the interviewer, asking her if she knew the names of any of the countless lebanese or palestinian political prisoners (hostages), but how gilad and every other isreali prisoner was known worldwide. she was actually speechless. that was quite good.
The main film was great- you got to see day to day life in palestine which was really interesting (what exactly does a refugee camp that has been there for 50 years actually look like? actually they never showed any of them, so i still don't know) and it also manages to be quite funny in parts, but the end is quite predictable.... infact the funniest thing was the redneck sat behind us who kept heckling- there is a bit in the film where the hero has to decide if he wants to spend the night with this beautiful girl or go and be a matyr, and he chooses the latter, and the redneck, completely missing the poing, shouts "VIRGIN!!!" at the screen. we got a good introduction to the proper political scene in santa cruz though- quite alot like the people at the square social centre in london i feel but a little more cheery and optimistic. there is some really good stuff going on- a 'free school' which is like a more formal skill swap where anyone can be a teacher (i suggested a make your own instrument workshop but they already had it!), also a 'trash orchestra' that seems quite radical and lots of copies of Harbinger and other good literature. we got plied with alcopops and patter though, which put me on my guard a bit (i guess they think we are new to the whole scene and need to see that it isn't all hardcore politics and anti-imperialists are humans too:)) but all good. it does have a radical small town feel, which is great. there was a demo in a town 20 miles away that is mainly populated by mexican immigrants on sunday, and i thought long and hard about going, but in the end it was 1pm and i was only half way through my clarinet practice, and i decided music just in these important moments need to be prioritised, even though i know the demo would have been great fun and a chance to see another side of the USA. they were talking at the cinema about a phone tree so when more raids happen on immigrants people can get down there quick and form a human shield or whatnot, so will be doing that i think if the time arrives.
despite all this, i am still yet to find or be invited to anything resembling a party. i think i am just not meeting the right people, perhaps because i live in a flat with a 'community assistent'. in a way it is good, because i am not getting too fucked ever and can play lots of music but still, it is irksome. i thought i could take the good pits out of american pie and at least experience the decadant american house party... maybe soon.
speak soon
love ben
i was hoping to be able to tell you how my second jazz theory lesson went, at which we were due to be playing a blues infront of the rest of the class. i have been practicing for a few days, asking many people what they thought the idea of the blues distilled into, reading books and tying myself into knots (after that disastrous clarinet audition i wasn't feeling very confident). however, max found a grand piano in one of the dining halls (which naturally has a wicked acoustic) and three nights ago we went there and just RIPPED and all my fears were assuaged. it was really really special man, i felt like a flying fish, fluttering around between the piano chords and finding the path of least resistance and then occasionally going for it and jumping high out of the water and holding it for as long as the atmosphere would allow and then plunging back down again and then shutting up for a while. it just sounded rounded and exciting and beautiful in parts. we went to a different piano last night with some more structured chord progressions in mind and it was a different thing we were producing but as good in different ways. for years i have been unable to make the leap between playing my own blues scale with bits of chromaticism and vaguely following the accompaniment to be able to place individual notes with specific functions and movements into the music, and therefore to extend and/or implicate the harmony of what is going on, but things are starting to fall into place now and the clarinet is looking more like a piano in my head. which makes ben a very excited boy. but anyway, the it is so lucky that i have winded up with a great piano player that is also a great person living one and a bit metres below me (he is on the bottom bunk). he is very unassuming, but you can tell he has grown up in a very stimulated environment. he just casually drops in things like 'oh, you know tom waits? yeah, he's my dads friend'. it also turns out he has a semi-broken heart, having split up with his first love just before he came here, even though she came here too! it is a long sad story with lots of victims (her brother died in a car crash earlier in the year and max ended up organising the funeral) but he still thinks one day their love will prevail. you;ve got to admire a person who is totally caught up in the mega-emotions of love and loss and is so cheery and nice you don't even notice.
talking of loss and death, a girl from the university jumped off a bridge to her death on saturday, word on campus is that her weed was laced... not very pretty man. she was 18.
but anyway, my final course choice for this term are jazz theory, music of india and 'UC and the bomb', all of which i have on tues and thurs (so i have mon, wed, fri off). the readings for jazz theory are pretty mental; it is the lectures own book and it is all about god and uniting the mind, body and spirit, and long metaphores about roses and the blues.:
"...thus, when our awareness broadens, heaven then becomes more than a place in which to either believe or refute; it can become a level of consciousness..."
"...spirituality is channeled through our spirit and uses the intuitive self and subconcious mind to translate and decode messages'
the lecturer is a really great musician, and it is great that he is taking 'jazz theory' to mean something more holistic that technical method, but i just get the feeling reading to his stuff that he thinks he is able to write down what is a really abstract concept and set of emotions in himself that are not necessarily universal. he also talks quite alot about god and implies that you need a connection with Him to truly feel the ;'creative spirit'. but anyhow, we will see what happens.
music of india is pretty cool- there are a few hundred in our class, compared to about 15 at SOAS, quite a change, and the lecturer is a great sitar player who plays in our lessons (for my fellow widdessians, alice went and chatted with the lecturer, told him the score and when he found out Widdess was our teacher, he apparently got well excited and told us not bother coming to his class cos we must know it all already from Widdess! apparently he is world famous inindian music circles. so he invited us to his graduate class, which i have so far sacked off).
UC and the bomb is very interesting- there is no teacher, it is all peer to peer learning with a couple of faciliters, which is great stuff except a bit slow as the facilitaters are hugely eager to make sure the consensus decision making is working, leading to lots of pauses. but we have had good discussions pon nuclear policy and more general foreign policy. they are an interesting bunch of people that take the class. one of the facilitators is a spitting image of Kai, and is called Kai!!!!!! the only other kai i have ever met. and even has the same hair, except longer and with dreadlocks piled on his head. we are all going on a field trip to a nuclear research facility in a couple of weeks.
went on a 'disorientation tour' with the general activists around campus, passing where they had got rid of military rectruiters, etc etc (the stop the war group were on a government list of subversive groups for a while) and ended up at this huge tree called tree 9 with loads of great branches so it was easy to climb to the top. it was MASSIVE and when i was half way up i thought i woudl stay there, but gradually i worked my way up and beat my fear and got to the top, where there was a beautiful view, a laminated photograph of the same view pinned to the tree and a interesting conversation about resurgent german fascism with a german feminist who was also at the top. but there were good people on the talk.
food is something that is occupying my thoughts quite alot at the moment. i was forced to buy a '55 day meal plan' as part of my housing contract, which means that roughly once a day it is 'all you care to eat' for me. and the choice is quite immense- every day there is pizza, pasta, burgers, chips, burritos and torillas, salads, all manner of sandwiches, industrial size tubs of mayonnaise, plus whatever food they have cooked specifically that day, like a meal or whatever etc etc and so in the beginning i was really taking advantage of all this (keeping the TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL FOOD OPPORTUNITIES mindset of SOAS) but then i started feeling greasy and bloated. but on the plus side, i put some bagels down my pants every lunch and then have breakfast the next day for free. it was also time for the occasional 'organic food vs cheap food' debate the other shopping day, with all the other factors playing themselves out (type of shop, type of things i needed, does coconut milk need to be fair trade?) but in the end the nicer food won, mainly because i was outside a nice shop at the time, but i went to safeway anyway because you can get 4 litres of tropicana for $5, (£3) with a clubcard. what can you do? but anyway, had delicious spinach, broccoli, strange mushroom, coconut and onion with rice last night so it was worth it i think.
on friday me and max went to see 'paradise now', a film about two potential palestinian suicide bombers, at a 'guerilla cinema' showing on the side of a warehouse on some disused train tracks near campus. we got there 30 mins late, and guess whose voice comes wafting down the train track? none other than george galloway, who is on the screen being interviewed about lebanon and being his usual aggressive self. jokes. the americans were loving it (he was wearing these red rimmed glasses). i was cringing till the end, when he really layed into the interviewer, asking her if she knew the names of any of the countless lebanese or palestinian political prisoners (hostages), but how gilad and every other isreali prisoner was known worldwide. she was actually speechless. that was quite good.
The main film was great- you got to see day to day life in palestine which was really interesting (what exactly does a refugee camp that has been there for 50 years actually look like? actually they never showed any of them, so i still don't know) and it also manages to be quite funny in parts, but the end is quite predictable.... infact the funniest thing was the redneck sat behind us who kept heckling- there is a bit in the film where the hero has to decide if he wants to spend the night with this beautiful girl or go and be a matyr, and he chooses the latter, and the redneck, completely missing the poing, shouts "VIRGIN!!!" at the screen. we got a good introduction to the proper political scene in santa cruz though- quite alot like the people at the square social centre in london i feel but a little more cheery and optimistic. there is some really good stuff going on- a 'free school' which is like a more formal skill swap where anyone can be a teacher (i suggested a make your own instrument workshop but they already had it!), also a 'trash orchestra' that seems quite radical and lots of copies of Harbinger and other good literature. we got plied with alcopops and patter though, which put me on my guard a bit (i guess they think we are new to the whole scene and need to see that it isn't all hardcore politics and anti-imperialists are humans too:)) but all good. it does have a radical small town feel, which is great. there was a demo in a town 20 miles away that is mainly populated by mexican immigrants on sunday, and i thought long and hard about going, but in the end it was 1pm and i was only half way through my clarinet practice, and i decided music just in these important moments need to be prioritised, even though i know the demo would have been great fun and a chance to see another side of the USA. they were talking at the cinema about a phone tree so when more raids happen on immigrants people can get down there quick and form a human shield or whatnot, so will be doing that i think if the time arrives.
despite all this, i am still yet to find or be invited to anything resembling a party. i think i am just not meeting the right people, perhaps because i live in a flat with a 'community assistent'. in a way it is good, because i am not getting too fucked ever and can play lots of music but still, it is irksome. i thought i could take the good pits out of american pie and at least experience the decadant american house party... maybe soon.
speak soon
love ben
Thursday, September 21, 2006
first letter home
It is11pm here on the west coast of america, where the voices are loud, the legs are long and the sun is strong. Today has been the first proper academic day for me- i had a music induction at 9am, followed by a placement exam, an audition for clarinet lessons, an audition for the UCSC wind band and then a beauracratic battle to find out which courses i could and couldn't do. The placement exam went ok- the hours of exercises whilst counting cars for SBC paid off for the harmony/melody bit of the exam, but as usual my aural skills were hopeless and my knowledge of Western musical history patchy. The clarinet audition, which i was half nervous about and half complacent about, went really badly. I haven't had lessons for 2 years, and though i have been burning my arse practicing all summer, it is impossible to replace the knowledge of a teacher, and it seems i have overlooked some fundamentals like controlled breathing, timing and poise. apparently i am letting the instrument control my breathing, rather than my breathing control the instrument, and as a consequence my tone quality is poor. The teacher, Mark Brandenburg (!), seemed entirely unimpressed with me, and even less impressed when i tried to talk my way into his lessons. It didn't help that there were half a dozen shithot annoyingly preppy players waiting with me, with their A clarinets (which are used in classical orchestras, rather than the standard Bb that i use) and unabashed boasting. so, although i havne't yet recieved the email from him telling me whether i am in, i very much doubt it. Which is a right bummer, because that was one of the main reasons i came here.
If you have clarinet lessons, you also have to be in either the wind band or orchestra, so i immediately went for my wind band audition. This went better, with a friendly teacher who went off one one about the time he went to york with a load of boys and got mobbed by St Margarets girls schools' girls. He was impressed with my sight reading and Mozart, and I think i am in. however, now that i am not going to have lessons (i think), i might sack the wind band off, even though they are playing Carnegie hall in New York in spring. what do you think?
It turned out after that I don't have to do any of the 'core courses', which are a grounding in western tonal harmony, and i can go straight into Jazz Theory and Computer music synthesis (though the latter clashes with Music of India, at least for this term) provided i sweet talk the instructors. I am in a funny situation- because none of what i am doing counts for credit either at SOAS or here, it is almost like i am unaccountable to anyone, which means i can do anything i like. i could even sack off music altogether and do latino studies, or environmental studies, or Hindi. I still might, though i have satisfied the minimum requirements for this term with just Jaxx Theory, Music of India and Gamelan, and will have lots of free time to write music, walk in the woods etc.
There are plenty of woods to walk in here- my college (where i live) is surrounded by huge redwood trees that extend ad infinitum. There are very friendly deer that forage about the place, and at night if you walk into the woods a bit the grasshoppers are deafening. I took a little wander last night with my Mbira and the first spliff of my stay, and it was lovely. I find I can only play my Mbira when i am feeling peaceful, otherwise i get impatient, but last night it was all good. Its funny when an inanimate object can give you a better insight into your mood (i guess the same thing happens when you choose what music you want to listen to). Suddenly a group of completely typical OCesque (not that i have ever seen it...) girls walked past, boys hot on their trail, and i layed flat so they wouldn't see me. Alice (the girl from SOAS who is also here doing music) described the conversation of many here as vacuous, and i think that is the perfect word, just useless and boring. I was feeling the pinch when i first got here in terms of lack of stimulating conversation, and it made me feel lonely, but as the days go by the interesting people emerge and all is well.
The lowest point was at our building induction (the college is spread out in buildings holding about 40 people each, with a 'Community Assistant'- i guess a bit like a prefect- who is there to help people by hindering their misbehaviour) where it was spelt out that there was to be no alcohol, no drugs, lots of inane whooping and no smoking within 25 feet of any building) where i felt like i was back on that summer camp in india last year where well meaning young adults in positions of low power are so niice but well annoying and treat you like babies. Then i reconciled this with the fact that most of the people here are 18, just out of their christian parents' bosom and very, very naive. So i got on with it, and it turns out that the majority of people get battered quite alot. Unfortunately I live in the same flat as one of the afore mentioned Community assistants so i can't even have a nice glass of wine with my evening meal.
But the past couple of days have been cool, and i have had many a good conversation. Many people here are eager to learn about the world and are open minded, which is really good. And the jamming is also very good. I followed the sound of a drum beat to a nice latino guy called Moises, and soon there were 4 guitars, a violin, a mandolin and a jazz Real Book to play with. We did a wicked and spontanious version of Miles Davis' All Blues, it sounded wicked, followed by some bluegrass, some bossa nova and long conversations about the LA hardcore scene.
But anyway, i am digressing. After my morning at the music centre i headed over to the east field (you can see all of these places at www.ucsc.edu) where they were holding 'OPERS', a US version of freshers fayre, with good BBQ food and lots and lots of stalls. This was a real eye opener. I smiled to see the US version of the Socialist Workers Party and (would you believe it) Workers hammer party peddling their papers and raising their eyebrows at me when i told them my political orientation. There were also stalls for many religions (people with tshirts saying 'i am a zionist'), ethnicities (including the 'mixed race' society, who were very vague when i tried to find out what they actually did), sports (ultimate frisbee is massive here, and everyone is surprisingly good at 'soccer'), the republican party (with a 6 foot cut out of Bush- i am going to their meeting next week), radio stations, campus publications, environmental groups et al. there was one really good group called the 'disorientation collective' who are very Crimethinc.y (www.crimethinc.com) and promise to show the underbelly of university life (it turns out every nuclear warhead in the US arsenal was designed at california's universities). There is a good political scene in santa cruz- recently the government rounded up over 100 illegal workers from the town (which only has 50,000 people in it) and there is a big campaign to fight back getting started which is fairly prominent on campus. they use the same slogan- noone is illegal- as no borders did back in london. How can i not get involved. On sunday there is also come guerilla cinema on a disused railway line somewhere which is showing that 'paradise now' film.
There were also lots of 'fraternities' on campus. if you don't know about them (which i didn't until recently), they are sort of American Pie style clubs that people pay to be a part of and in exchange get access to the 'best' parties, free alcohol, the chance to mingle with sorority girls and be nicely groomed for rotary club style adulthood. the ways people find to feel loved. anyway, next week is 'rush week', where all the fraternities have open free parties to try and get you to join them, and even though i have been warned about frats, i am going to go and experience it.
I am sharing a small room with two other guys, max and edmund. max is a proper quality guy from the same small town as tom waits (who bummed fags off his dad back in the day), into rock climbing, mandolin playing and making me milkshakes. edmund seems a complex character, lacking many a positive emotion, but i am working on him. blame the parents. next door is giancarlo, the afore mentioned community assistant and gym guy. he has realised i am his age, and is cutting me a bit of slack, but it is still irksome to have Authority, any authority, living next door. I initially thought opting for a cheaper, smaller shared room was a bad idea (i have almost no space to call my own) but i don't spend much time there- i am writing this email in the living room, where there is a nice speaker, a LAN connection and a sofa so it is ok.
Santa cruz town is wicked, i can see why it is a bit famous and not symptomatic of america at all, an interesting mix of small non-chain stores, beats, beaches, a funfair just like scarborough, lots of hippies and nice bus drivers (who have consistently believed my true story that i lost my bus pass on a bus on the second day i was here and let me on for free). they even have lots of charity shops (where i bought all my pots and pans) and thrift stores. everyone is friendly, but everyone is much more friendly when they are working for a shop you are in. someone offered to help me choose tinned tomatos the other day. i mean really....
so yeah, everything is turning out pretty kosher here after a couple of nervous days in the beginning. i am missing everyone lots though; there is noone i can hug properly here or get excitedly stoned with (cannabis consumption is done with lots of cool poise round here...). YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO COME AND VISIT ME. it is really a set of sights to behold.
If you have clarinet lessons, you also have to be in either the wind band or orchestra, so i immediately went for my wind band audition. This went better, with a friendly teacher who went off one one about the time he went to york with a load of boys and got mobbed by St Margarets girls schools' girls. He was impressed with my sight reading and Mozart, and I think i am in. however, now that i am not going to have lessons (i think), i might sack the wind band off, even though they are playing Carnegie hall in New York in spring. what do you think?
It turned out after that I don't have to do any of the 'core courses', which are a grounding in western tonal harmony, and i can go straight into Jazz Theory and Computer music synthesis (though the latter clashes with Music of India, at least for this term) provided i sweet talk the instructors. I am in a funny situation- because none of what i am doing counts for credit either at SOAS or here, it is almost like i am unaccountable to anyone, which means i can do anything i like. i could even sack off music altogether and do latino studies, or environmental studies, or Hindi. I still might, though i have satisfied the minimum requirements for this term with just Jaxx Theory, Music of India and Gamelan, and will have lots of free time to write music, walk in the woods etc.
There are plenty of woods to walk in here- my college (where i live) is surrounded by huge redwood trees that extend ad infinitum. There are very friendly deer that forage about the place, and at night if you walk into the woods a bit the grasshoppers are deafening. I took a little wander last night with my Mbira and the first spliff of my stay, and it was lovely. I find I can only play my Mbira when i am feeling peaceful, otherwise i get impatient, but last night it was all good. Its funny when an inanimate object can give you a better insight into your mood (i guess the same thing happens when you choose what music you want to listen to). Suddenly a group of completely typical OCesque (not that i have ever seen it...) girls walked past, boys hot on their trail, and i layed flat so they wouldn't see me. Alice (the girl from SOAS who is also here doing music) described the conversation of many here as vacuous, and i think that is the perfect word, just useless and boring. I was feeling the pinch when i first got here in terms of lack of stimulating conversation, and it made me feel lonely, but as the days go by the interesting people emerge and all is well.
The lowest point was at our building induction (the college is spread out in buildings holding about 40 people each, with a 'Community Assistant'- i guess a bit like a prefect- who is there to help people by hindering their misbehaviour) where it was spelt out that there was to be no alcohol, no drugs, lots of inane whooping and no smoking within 25 feet of any building) where i felt like i was back on that summer camp in india last year where well meaning young adults in positions of low power are so niice but well annoying and treat you like babies. Then i reconciled this with the fact that most of the people here are 18, just out of their christian parents' bosom and very, very naive. So i got on with it, and it turns out that the majority of people get battered quite alot. Unfortunately I live in the same flat as one of the afore mentioned Community assistants so i can't even have a nice glass of wine with my evening meal.
But the past couple of days have been cool, and i have had many a good conversation. Many people here are eager to learn about the world and are open minded, which is really good. And the jamming is also very good. I followed the sound of a drum beat to a nice latino guy called Moises, and soon there were 4 guitars, a violin, a mandolin and a jazz Real Book to play with. We did a wicked and spontanious version of Miles Davis' All Blues, it sounded wicked, followed by some bluegrass, some bossa nova and long conversations about the LA hardcore scene.
But anyway, i am digressing. After my morning at the music centre i headed over to the east field (you can see all of these places at www.ucsc.edu) where they were holding 'OPERS', a US version of freshers fayre, with good BBQ food and lots and lots of stalls. This was a real eye opener. I smiled to see the US version of the Socialist Workers Party and (would you believe it) Workers hammer party peddling their papers and raising their eyebrows at me when i told them my political orientation. There were also stalls for many religions (people with tshirts saying 'i am a zionist'), ethnicities (including the 'mixed race' society, who were very vague when i tried to find out what they actually did), sports (ultimate frisbee is massive here, and everyone is surprisingly good at 'soccer'), the republican party (with a 6 foot cut out of Bush- i am going to their meeting next week), radio stations, campus publications, environmental groups et al. there was one really good group called the 'disorientation collective' who are very Crimethinc.y (www.crimethinc.com) and promise to show the underbelly of university life (it turns out every nuclear warhead in the US arsenal was designed at california's universities). There is a good political scene in santa cruz- recently the government rounded up over 100 illegal workers from the town (which only has 50,000 people in it) and there is a big campaign to fight back getting started which is fairly prominent on campus. they use the same slogan- noone is illegal- as no borders did back in london. How can i not get involved. On sunday there is also come guerilla cinema on a disused railway line somewhere which is showing that 'paradise now' film.
There were also lots of 'fraternities' on campus. if you don't know about them (which i didn't until recently), they are sort of American Pie style clubs that people pay to be a part of and in exchange get access to the 'best' parties, free alcohol, the chance to mingle with sorority girls and be nicely groomed for rotary club style adulthood. the ways people find to feel loved. anyway, next week is 'rush week', where all the fraternities have open free parties to try and get you to join them, and even though i have been warned about frats, i am going to go and experience it.
I am sharing a small room with two other guys, max and edmund. max is a proper quality guy from the same small town as tom waits (who bummed fags off his dad back in the day), into rock climbing, mandolin playing and making me milkshakes. edmund seems a complex character, lacking many a positive emotion, but i am working on him. blame the parents. next door is giancarlo, the afore mentioned community assistant and gym guy. he has realised i am his age, and is cutting me a bit of slack, but it is still irksome to have Authority, any authority, living next door. I initially thought opting for a cheaper, smaller shared room was a bad idea (i have almost no space to call my own) but i don't spend much time there- i am writing this email in the living room, where there is a nice speaker, a LAN connection and a sofa so it is ok.
Santa cruz town is wicked, i can see why it is a bit famous and not symptomatic of america at all, an interesting mix of small non-chain stores, beats, beaches, a funfair just like scarborough, lots of hippies and nice bus drivers (who have consistently believed my true story that i lost my bus pass on a bus on the second day i was here and let me on for free). they even have lots of charity shops (where i bought all my pots and pans) and thrift stores. everyone is friendly, but everyone is much more friendly when they are working for a shop you are in. someone offered to help me choose tinned tomatos the other day. i mean really....
so yeah, everything is turning out pretty kosher here after a couple of nervous days in the beginning. i am missing everyone lots though; there is noone i can hug properly here or get excitedly stoned with (cannabis consumption is done with lots of cool poise round here...). YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO COME AND VISIT ME. it is really a set of sights to behold.
first letter home
It is11pm here on the west coast of america, where the voices are loud, the legs are long and the sun is strong. Today has been the first proper academic day for me- i had a music induction at 9am, followed by a placement exam, an audition for clarinet lessons, an audition for the UCSC wind band and then a beauracratic battle to find out which courses i could and couldn't do. The placement exam went ok- the hours of exercises whilst counting cars for SBC paid off for the harmony/melody bit of the exam, but as usual my aural skills were hopeless and my knowledge of Western musical history patchy. The clarinet audition, which i was half nervous about and half complacent about, went really badly. I haven't had lessons for 2 years, and though i have been burning my arse practicing all summer, it is impossible to replace the knowledge of a teacher, and it seems i have overlooked some fundamentals like controlled breathing, timing and poise. apparently i am letting the instrument control my breathing, rather than my breathing control the instrument, and as a consequence my tone quality is poor. The teacher, Mark Brandenburg (!), seemed entirely unimpressed with me, and even less impressed when i tried to talk my way into his lessons. It didn't help that there were half a dozen shithot annoyingly preppy players waiting with me, with their A clarinets (which are used in classical orchestras, rather than the standard Bb that i use) and unabashed boasting. so, although i havne't yet recieved the email from him telling me whether i am in, i very much doubt it. Which is a right bummer, because that was one of the main reasons i came here.
If you have clarinet lessons, you also have to be in either the wind band or orchestra, so i immediately went for my wind band audition. This went better, with a friendly teacher who went off one one about the time he went to york with a load of boys and got mobbed by St Margarets girls schools' girls. He was impressed with my sight reading and Mozart, and I think i am in. however, now that i am not going to have lessons (i think), i might sack the wind band off, even though they are playing Carnegie hall in New York in spring. what do you think?
It turned out after that I don't have to do any of the 'core courses', which are a grounding in western tonal harmony, and i can go straight into Jazz Theory and Computer music synthesis (though the latter clashes with Music of India, at least for this term) provided i sweet talk the instructors. I am in a funny situation- because none of what i am doing counts for credit either at SOAS or here, it is almost like i am unaccountable to anyone, which means i can do anything i like. i could even sack off music altogether and do latino studies, or environmental studies, or Hindi. I still might, though i have satisfied the minimum requirements for this term with just Jaxx Theory, Music of India and Gamelan, and will have lots of free time to write music, walk in the woods etc.
There are plenty of woods to walk in here- my college (where i live) is surrounded by huge redwood trees that extend ad infinitum. There are very friendly deer that forage about the place, and at night if you walk into the woods a bit the grasshoppers are deafening. I took a little wander last night with my Mbira and the first spliff of my stay, and it was lovely. I find I can only play my Mbira when i am feeling peaceful, otherwise i get impatient, but last night it was all good. Its funny when an inanimate object can give you a better insight into your mood (i guess the same thing happens when you choose what music you want to listen to). Suddenly a group of completely typical OCesque (not that i have ever seen it...) girls walked past, boys hot on their trail, and i layed flat so they wouldn't see me. Alice (the girl from SOAS who is also here doing music) described the conversation of many here as vacuous, and i think that is the perfect word, just useless and boring. I was feeling the pinch when i first got here in terms of lack of stimulating conversation, and it made me feel lonely, but as the days go by the interesting people emerge and all is well.
The lowest point was at our building induction (the college is spread out in buildings holding about 40 people each, with a 'Community Assistant'- i guess a bit like a prefect- who is there to help people by hindering their misbehaviour) where it was spelt out that there was to be no alcohol, no drugs, lots of inane whooping and no smoking within 25 feet of any building) where i felt like i was back on that summer camp in india last year where well meaning young adults in positions of low power are so niice but well annoying and treat you like babies. Then i reconciled this with the fact that most of the people here are 18, just out of their christian parents' bosom and very, very naive. So i got on with it, and it turns out that the majority of people get battered quite alot. Unfortunately I live in the same flat as one of the afore mentioned Community assistants so i can't even have a nice glass of wine with my evening meal.
But the past couple of days have been cool, and i have had many a good conversation. Many people here are eager to learn about the world and are open minded, which is really good. And the jamming is also very good. I followed the sound of a drum beat to a nice latino guy called Moises, and soon there were 4 guitars, a violin, a mandolin and a jazz Real Book to play with. We did a wicked and spontanious version of Miles Davis' All Blues, it sounded wicked, followed by some bluegrass, some bossa nova and long conversations about the LA hardcore scene.
But anyway, i am digressing. After my morning at the music centre i headed over to the east field (you can see all of these places at www.ucsc.edu) where they were holding 'OPERS', a US version of freshers fayre, with good BBQ food and lots and lots of stalls. This was a real eye opener. I smiled to see the US version of the Socialist Workers Party and (would you believe it) Workers hammer party peddling their papers and raising their eyebrows at me when i told them my political orientation. There were also stalls for many religions (people with tshirts saying 'i am a zionist'), ethnicities (including the 'mixed race' society, who were very vague when i tried to find out what they actually did), sports (ultimate frisbee is massive here, and everyone is surprisingly good at 'soccer'), the republican party (with a 6 foot cut out of Bush- i am going to their meeting next week), radio stations, campus publications, environmental groups et al. there was one really good group called the 'disorientation collective' who are very Crimethinc.y (www.crimethinc.com) and promise to show the underbelly of university life (it turns out every nuclear warhead in the US arsenal was designed at california's universities). There is a good political scene in santa cruz- recently the government rounded up over 100 illegal workers from the town (which only has 50,000 people in it) and there is a big campaign to fight back getting started which is fairly prominent on campus. they use the same slogan- noone is illegal- as no borders did back in london. How can i not get involved. On sunday there is also come guerilla cinema on a disused railway line somewhere which is showing that 'paradise now' film.
There were also lots of 'fraternities' on campus. if you don't know about them (which i didn't until recently), they are sort of American Pie style clubs that people pay to be a part of and in exchange get access to the 'best' parties, free alcohol, the chance to mingle with sorority girls and be nicely groomed for rotary club style adulthood. the ways people find to feel loved. anyway, next week is 'rush week', where all the fraternities have open free parties to try and get you to join them, and even though i have been warned about frats, i am going to go and experience it.
I am sharing a small room with two other guys, max and edmund. max is a proper quality guy from the same small town as tom waits (who bummed fags off his dad back in the day), into rock climbing, mandolin playing and making me milkshakes. edmund seems a complex character, lacking many a positive emotion, but i am working on him. blame the parents. next door is giancarlo, the afore mentioned community assistant and gym guy. he has realised i am his age, and is cutting me a bit of slack, but it is still irksome to have Authority, any authority, living next door. I initially thought opting for a cheaper, smaller shared room was a bad idea (i have almost no space to call my own) but i don't spend much time there- i am writing this email in the living room, where there is a nice speaker, a LAN connection and a sofa so it is ok.
Santa cruz town is wicked, i can see why it is a bit famous and not symptomatic of america at all, an interesting mix of small non-chain stores, beats, beaches, a funfair just like scarborough, lots of hippies and nice bus drivers (who have consistently believed my true story that i lost my bus pass on a bus on the second day i was here and let me on for free). they even have lots of charity shops (where i bought all my pots and pans) and thrift stores. everyone is friendly, but everyone is much more friendly when they are working for a shop you are in. someone offered to help me choose tinned tomatos the other day. i mean really....
so yeah, everything is turning out pretty kosher here after a couple of nervous days in the beginning. i am missing everyone lots though; there is noone i can hug properly here or get excitedly stoned with (cannabis consumption is done with lots of cool poise round here...). YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO COME AND VISIT ME. it is really a set of sights to behold.
If you have clarinet lessons, you also have to be in either the wind band or orchestra, so i immediately went for my wind band audition. This went better, with a friendly teacher who went off one one about the time he went to york with a load of boys and got mobbed by St Margarets girls schools' girls. He was impressed with my sight reading and Mozart, and I think i am in. however, now that i am not going to have lessons (i think), i might sack the wind band off, even though they are playing Carnegie hall in New York in spring. what do you think?
It turned out after that I don't have to do any of the 'core courses', which are a grounding in western tonal harmony, and i can go straight into Jazz Theory and Computer music synthesis (though the latter clashes with Music of India, at least for this term) provided i sweet talk the instructors. I am in a funny situation- because none of what i am doing counts for credit either at SOAS or here, it is almost like i am unaccountable to anyone, which means i can do anything i like. i could even sack off music altogether and do latino studies, or environmental studies, or Hindi. I still might, though i have satisfied the minimum requirements for this term with just Jaxx Theory, Music of India and Gamelan, and will have lots of free time to write music, walk in the woods etc.
There are plenty of woods to walk in here- my college (where i live) is surrounded by huge redwood trees that extend ad infinitum. There are very friendly deer that forage about the place, and at night if you walk into the woods a bit the grasshoppers are deafening. I took a little wander last night with my Mbira and the first spliff of my stay, and it was lovely. I find I can only play my Mbira when i am feeling peaceful, otherwise i get impatient, but last night it was all good. Its funny when an inanimate object can give you a better insight into your mood (i guess the same thing happens when you choose what music you want to listen to). Suddenly a group of completely typical OCesque (not that i have ever seen it...) girls walked past, boys hot on their trail, and i layed flat so they wouldn't see me. Alice (the girl from SOAS who is also here doing music) described the conversation of many here as vacuous, and i think that is the perfect word, just useless and boring. I was feeling the pinch when i first got here in terms of lack of stimulating conversation, and it made me feel lonely, but as the days go by the interesting people emerge and all is well.
The lowest point was at our building induction (the college is spread out in buildings holding about 40 people each, with a 'Community Assistant'- i guess a bit like a prefect- who is there to help people by hindering their misbehaviour) where it was spelt out that there was to be no alcohol, no drugs, lots of inane whooping and no smoking within 25 feet of any building) where i felt like i was back on that summer camp in india last year where well meaning young adults in positions of low power are so niice but well annoying and treat you like babies. Then i reconciled this with the fact that most of the people here are 18, just out of their christian parents' bosom and very, very naive. So i got on with it, and it turns out that the majority of people get battered quite alot. Unfortunately I live in the same flat as one of the afore mentioned Community assistants so i can't even have a nice glass of wine with my evening meal.
But the past couple of days have been cool, and i have had many a good conversation. Many people here are eager to learn about the world and are open minded, which is really good. And the jamming is also very good. I followed the sound of a drum beat to a nice latino guy called Moises, and soon there were 4 guitars, a violin, a mandolin and a jazz Real Book to play with. We did a wicked and spontanious version of Miles Davis' All Blues, it sounded wicked, followed by some bluegrass, some bossa nova and long conversations about the LA hardcore scene.
But anyway, i am digressing. After my morning at the music centre i headed over to the east field (you can see all of these places at www.ucsc.edu) where they were holding 'OPERS', a US version of freshers fayre, with good BBQ food and lots and lots of stalls. This was a real eye opener. I smiled to see the US version of the Socialist Workers Party and (would you believe it) Workers hammer party peddling their papers and raising their eyebrows at me when i told them my political orientation. There were also stalls for many religions (people with tshirts saying 'i am a zionist'), ethnicities (including the 'mixed race' society, who were very vague when i tried to find out what they actually did), sports (ultimate frisbee is massive here, and everyone is surprisingly good at 'soccer'), the republican party (with a 6 foot cut out of Bush- i am going to their meeting next week), radio stations, campus publications, environmental groups et al. there was one really good group called the 'disorientation collective' who are very Crimethinc.y (www.crimethinc.com) and promise to show the underbelly of university life (it turns out every nuclear warhead in the US arsenal was designed at california's universities). There is a good political scene in santa cruz- recently the government rounded up over 100 illegal workers from the town (which only has 50,000 people in it) and there is a big campaign to fight back getting started which is fairly prominent on campus. they use the same slogan- noone is illegal- as no borders did back in london. How can i not get involved. On sunday there is also come guerilla cinema on a disused railway line somewhere which is showing that 'paradise now' film.
There were also lots of 'fraternities' on campus. if you don't know about them (which i didn't until recently), they are sort of American Pie style clubs that people pay to be a part of and in exchange get access to the 'best' parties, free alcohol, the chance to mingle with sorority girls and be nicely groomed for rotary club style adulthood. the ways people find to feel loved. anyway, next week is 'rush week', where all the fraternities have open free parties to try and get you to join them, and even though i have been warned about frats, i am going to go and experience it.
I am sharing a small room with two other guys, max and edmund. max is a proper quality guy from the same small town as tom waits (who bummed fags off his dad back in the day), into rock climbing, mandolin playing and making me milkshakes. edmund seems a complex character, lacking many a positive emotion, but i am working on him. blame the parents. next door is giancarlo, the afore mentioned community assistant and gym guy. he has realised i am his age, and is cutting me a bit of slack, but it is still irksome to have Authority, any authority, living next door. I initially thought opting for a cheaper, smaller shared room was a bad idea (i have almost no space to call my own) but i don't spend much time there- i am writing this email in the living room, where there is a nice speaker, a LAN connection and a sofa so it is ok.
Santa cruz town is wicked, i can see why it is a bit famous and not symptomatic of america at all, an interesting mix of small non-chain stores, beats, beaches, a funfair just like scarborough, lots of hippies and nice bus drivers (who have consistently believed my true story that i lost my bus pass on a bus on the second day i was here and let me on for free). they even have lots of charity shops (where i bought all my pots and pans) and thrift stores. everyone is friendly, but everyone is much more friendly when they are working for a shop you are in. someone offered to help me choose tinned tomatos the other day. i mean really....
so yeah, everything is turning out pretty kosher here after a couple of nervous days in the beginning. i am missing everyone lots though; there is noone i can hug properly here or get excitedly stoned with (cannabis consumption is done with lots of cool poise round here...). YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO COME AND VISIT ME. it is really a set of sights to behold.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Humming
| Rich and Ernie have got a fake flower, that is only fake in so much as it is made out of plastic and does not photosynthesise. However, it is attached to a sugar/water solution, so hummingbirds like the one I saw that was humming in their garden in the suburbs of San Fransisco feel that, for all intents and purposes, it is indeed a flower. Maybe this is a lesson i am going to learn in america- who cares if it is fake if it does the job? certainly i doubt the word 'real' had anything to do with the ravioli i had on the flight from amsterdam to minneapolis, and less to do with the yanquee lady beside me who spraffed abotu the joys of mormon-only schools for 5 minutes too long. It was ok though, the journey, even though it lasted 29 hours from Boro to Frisco, involved many a suspicious immigration person and i wasn't allowed to smoke ANYWHERE in the US airports. travesty! what about freedom of choice. the airports of the world really hate smokers- in manchester, there were about 15 smokers in a room the size of a badminton court, with only a tiny amount of ventilation, so you could get yoru smoke fix without even smoking. in amsterdam you had to buy a coffee in a smoking cafe to smoke (in theory), and then in america you had to un-security yourself, go outside into the parking lot, and then security yourself back in again. gaybar. we made lots of smoke two (or is it 3?) nights ago, at the steve irwin memorial/lizzie and sam birthday/ me going away party, what with the fire, freedom liam's hot air and plenty of tobacco and tea smoke. after being a bit nervous about whether everyone would get on, it turned out really nice, and even liam did his bit by breaking the ice at the beginnign by beiong a drunken idiot and making everyone giggle. saw mischa, who i had my first ever travelling experiences with without my mum and who i haven't seen for at least a year. she always squirms when i ask the question 'whats going on', i think she thinks nothing is changing with her and it renders the question a bit redundant, but then there are many ways to ask the same question, and ofcourse she is full of worldly wisdom and new-music-tips. by 2am it was just me, liz, sam, lozz, behla, liam koed on a rock and adam, (who else) and i got mauled in a drunken game of duck duck goose. behla sang and played 'fugitive motel' by elbow, my fugitive motel, somewhere in the dustbowl if i......the other side of the world and it has been in my head as i have travelled above the dust bowl and to the other side of the world. |
the night before i wanted to jam, after a suggestion of north bay jamming by james g. i bumped into young billy bass and ryan on the way and invited them down to join sam etc, and from the moment we started the fire with only a few post-it notes for kindling i knew it would be a good night. if the right balance of instruments is there, and noone is the type for hogging the guitar with hours of covers, then quality musicians will at least provide an in interesting evening and sometimes, as on this occasion, also release sparks. the added factor of cannabis was also interesting, expecially as myself and a couple of others are prone to paranoia. the thing was, even though i got pretty paranoid at times, and i was sensing wother were too, the music just overruled everything and as long as it didn't stop, everything was fine and everyone was comfortable because HOW CAN YOU ARGUE WITH GREAT LIVE MUSIC? ryan and billy beatboxing together really is quite special, you should check them.
and now i am in san fransisco! fucking hell man, i couldn't believe it. was reading on the road (kerouac) on the way over, choosing it for its relevance, its page turning ability and the memories it invokes of making up part of our mini-bookcase in la gomera, and sal's first trip to frisco is a sad one ("everything was falling apart"), but a very romantic one none the less. and then BANG! there's alcatraz shrouded by fog, theres the golden gate bridge! theres the 49ers stadium! theres the 5 lane traffic jams! theres ridiculous advertising hoardings (you need a doctor who fits your personality"- no you don't!!!). well fuck me.
but i am tired, and this post is feeling alot like a ramble, even though i wanted to evoke the loveliness of my last couple of nights in scarborough. will try again tommorow maybe.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Look North
Had an unexpected day today; chaos theory in action. The batteries ran out of my illicit MP3 player as I walked towards peasholm park on my afternoon rounds, diverting me to that shop on the corner in search of batteries. This set me back 5 minutes, and as the afternoon play finished on Radio 4 a red scooter sped past me and crashed square into the side of a ford fiesta. The driver looped up in the air, then landed, then stood up, then collapsed. Oh shit! He was ok though, and I got to feel vaguely important (but obviously not as important as when protecting council revenue) directing the traffic so all of 3 directions of traffic (it was at the t junction near atlantis and peasholm) didn’t wait too long. I had to hang around to give a statement and share two cigarettes with a Man from the AA which put me back further. When I finally got to scalby mills and started checking tickets there were 3 girls in a car, skinning up, with no ticket. Advised them of the score (0-0) and just as I walked away the rain intensified loads and suddenly sheets of rain were hitting me so I ran back and, for the first time in a whole day of periodically intense showers, had a friendly car to sit in for 10 minutes at the end of my shift. Then the miniture railway to Corner café, a slightly surreal conversations with a open top bus driver and his supervisor, then off on the bus back to base. But then, around the marine drive, who should we see but that weatherman off look north!! Paul someone. And the waves were BIG today, and it was nearly high tide with the occasional splash over the side, so the bus driver slowed down so we could have a look. Then as I looked through the window, seeing everything with a happy sheen, a MASSIVE wave came and drenched everything and everyone including him and his van!! And the WHOLE of the side of the bus, QUALITY!! So me and the driver were pissing ourselves and all these other people in the back-tourists- are like ‘you shouldn’t laugh you know its not very nice“
Saw lizzie last night, was really nice, and realised I needed to do some stoned pseudo-epic ranting. Make the unforgivable statement that, in conversation, I was funnier than her but she had the better points to make J, funnily enough her rebuttal was complete. Think perhaps just smoking less weed is making me feel a bit non-plussed with everything, but that will pass and am actually quite happy I know what it is. I think all my outside influences recently have been a bit negative or at least reflective (turning 20, being a wage slave, back in my childhood him (and the fact I can now say ‘childhood home’ cos I ain’t a child), nick drake, lauren), not least fucking
a)almost open civil war in Iraq now
b) Lebanon/Palestine
I think maybe at some time in the future Tony Blair will be like ‘ok, clearly Iraq is a more dangerous, unstable and unliveable now than pre-invasion (even if he says this in 10 years), and clearly it was foreseeable, and I am sorry’ and I will still want to beat him over and over and over till I run out of energy and collapse, crying, on top of him. How can Blair and Britain allow America to perpetrate these atrocities in the name of the dollar bill?
And ever half hour on the radio I had John Reid in my ear using words like ‘massacre’ and ‘indefinite critical state’ and Bush calling the potential bombers ‘muslim fascists’. I think Reid is doing like Thatcher and seizing the role of Parental Statesman facing the enemy with unerring resolution whilst Blair is on holiday and Prescott is shamefaced. Paxman once called Reid Labour’s ‘all purpose attack dog’, and it seems to fit him perfectly.
Finally, a nice email from my ’new’ auntie Yvonne had a bit of an annoyance as its finale along the lines of ‘make more of an effort to bond with your dad’. like giving a chicken miracle grow.
Ciao
Ben
Saw lizzie last night, was really nice, and realised I needed to do some stoned pseudo-epic ranting. Make the unforgivable statement that, in conversation, I was funnier than her but she had the better points to make J, funnily enough her rebuttal was complete. Think perhaps just smoking less weed is making me feel a bit non-plussed with everything, but that will pass and am actually quite happy I know what it is. I think all my outside influences recently have been a bit negative or at least reflective (turning 20, being a wage slave, back in my childhood him (and the fact I can now say ‘childhood home’ cos I ain’t a child), nick drake, lauren), not least fucking
a)almost open civil war in Iraq now
b) Lebanon/Palestine
I think maybe at some time in the future Tony Blair will be like ‘ok, clearly Iraq is a more dangerous, unstable and unliveable now than pre-invasion (even if he says this in 10 years), and clearly it was foreseeable, and I am sorry’ and I will still want to beat him over and over and over till I run out of energy and collapse, crying, on top of him. How can Blair and Britain allow America to perpetrate these atrocities in the name of the dollar bill?
And ever half hour on the radio I had John Reid in my ear using words like ‘massacre’ and ‘indefinite critical state’ and Bush calling the potential bombers ‘muslim fascists’. I think Reid is doing like Thatcher and seizing the role of Parental Statesman facing the enemy with unerring resolution whilst Blair is on holiday and Prescott is shamefaced. Paxman once called Reid Labour’s ‘all purpose attack dog’, and it seems to fit him perfectly.
Finally, a nice email from my ’new’ auntie Yvonne had a bit of an annoyance as its finale along the lines of ‘make more of an effort to bond with your dad’. like giving a chicken miracle grow.
Ciao
Ben
Sunday, August 06, 2006
sunday
Really haven’t been feeling it over the past few days. I don’t know if it is my haircut or what, but people (as in my friends) seem to have been a bit cold towards me recently. This could of course be paranoia, and I am going to try and stop with the THC for a week or two, but I dunno. I was trying to articulate some of this to Rachel the other night, and said something along the lines of ‘I understand now why some people are short with you for no real reason, because they have ‘seen it all before’ and can’t motivate themselves to get excited (or even interested) about, say, a young person who has just realised the utter overwhelming economic and social corruption of the planet, or someone who has just learned moonlight sonata on the piano. Before I used to just think they were arrogant windbags, but now I find myself feeling like them a litte’ and Rachel gave me this ’I can’t believe you just said that you southern arrogant bastard’ look. The funny thing was that comment was triggered by a random punk in rachels house who seemed (and initially acted) like the type of travelling punk who is exactly that- they have seen and experienced everything and nothing you can do will get you more than a raised eyebrow and quiet, almost tryingtobepolite acknowledgement., And then last night sam was going to come over so we could go and take part in Rachel;’s archaeology dig in her back garden and one thing led to another and we were 2 hours late and when we got there everyone was just like ‘oh, you’re here….so how you anyway sam?’. And all this time I am trying to balance the small amount of time I have off work between my clarinet and my friends, with people like suann and roger losing out cos I just don’t have any time. So all in all am feeling pretty shit. I slept a long time last night/this morning, and feel a little better now, and to be fair alcohol and weed together do always make me a bit stressed out and paranoid, but it feels more ingrained at the moment. I shouldn’t be surprised I guess, loads of my friends have stopped smoking for exactly the reasons I am describing. Maybe my body and brain could just hack it for longer. Fucking hell.
I am off to London tomorrow to get my visa, and am going to meet up with feder, bari, henry and jess with a couple of her Lebanese mates which should be nice. Will be my last trip to London before america.
I am off to London tomorrow to get my visa, and am going to meet up with feder, bari, henry and jess with a couple of her Lebanese mates which should be nice. Will be my last trip to London before america.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
WOMAD, TRAFFIKING, SOUNDWAVES, MISC
It has been a busy 10 days. Last Monday I started my new job as a……… traffic warden. Quite funny I know. I am doing carparks, 9 to 5, in a uniform with a Teepee (the machine you use to give tickets out with), my own boss, sneaking the Jazz classics into my brain all the while with a sly MP3 player. It is ok really- I just have to walk and walk and walk (my boss estimates 10 miles per day in what I consider school shoes) and give out the odd ticket. Ok money. Have already been told that I am too scruffy but what can they do, tuck my shirt in like Mrs Roberts used to? The only trouble is that by the time I get home I am knackered and can’t really do much in the evening, except for play my Clarinet, which I am now taking SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY (with capitals) would mean more serious than I think I could take anything except world wide revolution, but certainly serious with a capital S. At the moment I am aiming to
a) relearn the Mozart clarinet concerto that I blagged for A level. This is because next year in US I have to audition to even get LESSONS, and my prospective teacher is Mark Brandenburg, surely of the Brandenburg concerto lineage, and its not a chance I am ever going to get again (certainly not for $150 a term) and if I am serious about being a MUSICIAN (this time capitals justified) then I need to get my classical tits in gear. Apparently he doesn’t teach jazz. And if you can play classical you can play anything, right?
b) get my scales as sharp as Scottish josh’s one liners
c) learn the clarinet solo on Messiaen’s ‘quatour pour la fin du temps’ (quartet for the end of time) which is soooooooo beautiful, but am dubious to its technical significance.
Once those are done I can send off my audition tape and get on with funking it up.
But anyway, traffic warden, I must admit I have a bit of bias when it comes to fucking spotless Land Rover Discovery 3s that are 10 minutes out of time over messy skoda s with a kids seat in the back. But its cool and I execute my job with professionalism. Much better than a job selling deckchairs or ice cream, which I was planning to do at one stage.
But I was only there 3 days (enough to complete my training) before disappearing off to the World of Music and Dance otherwise known as WOMAD. It isn’t really a world of dance, cos everyone is middle aged with kids and has too much money in their pockets to shake their booty effectively (Mbira queen stella chiweshe had to positively cajoled the audience into standing up during her second set) HOWEVER, it was certainly a world of music and was I think the best festival I have been to (possibly with the exception of Glastonbury with Radiohead, sigur ros, and belle and Sebastian etc) in terms of music. I won’t bore you with lots of superlatives about bands I already like, but I will give you the name of ‘Think of One’, a Belgium afro-beat/funk/summer vibey fusion band led by a delightful 67 year old Eritrean lady. OOOh and Stella said (in that superb deep Zimbabwean female husk) ‘listen….we are all talking about forgiving each other….isn’t it about time we forgave ourselves?’ I know a few people who should listen to that lady.
It was sunny the whole time except for when FEMI KUTI (fela kuti’s son but a wicked musician in his own right and a very beautiful man) played, when the rain belted down. After my radical haircut the backs of my ears got very burned.
My cousins were also there, 17 and 15, very much into getting wasted the whole time, made me reminiscent. Met a great chap called Joe from leeds there, I was recycling with him (15 hours emptying bins and giving out bags and I got a free ticket) and we talked solidly for 3 hours about everything in one of those FAST HARD connections you make with someone. He had recently given up weed cos it was shooting him through. It seems to be making more and more sense to follow him.
And then another overpriced ticket home with GNER before sound wave. For those that don’t know, it is a one day free festival run by and for young people, that each year is a bit of a miracle (that it happens and is successful) and an event that I have been as involved as I can be in for the past…4 years. This year it was being almost entirely organised by 16 year olds and below (understand the logistics of putting on a whole festival) and, although there weren’t as many people as usual and in my opinion the music wasn’t as full of gems as it usually is, it was cool and a nice vibe. However, I was really tired after WOMAD and my playing- with Protocol (Mbira for sam’s band), Ozzy’s new band (sax) and as myself with Billy Bass and burgeoning young MC Jo was average at best. I was hoping to really engage the crowd with my Mbira, especially with Billy’s wicked beats, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe I was just dehydrated, too stoned/not stoned enough and tired, but I walked away unhappy.
And now for the best snapshot of my life at the moment (which, after all, is what this blog is for, both for you and me), I have to go cos I have a million things to do, not least go to sams for a spliff and jam.
See you
a) relearn the Mozart clarinet concerto that I blagged for A level. This is because next year in US I have to audition to even get LESSONS, and my prospective teacher is Mark Brandenburg, surely of the Brandenburg concerto lineage, and its not a chance I am ever going to get again (certainly not for $150 a term) and if I am serious about being a MUSICIAN (this time capitals justified) then I need to get my classical tits in gear. Apparently he doesn’t teach jazz. And if you can play classical you can play anything, right?
b) get my scales as sharp as Scottish josh’s one liners
c) learn the clarinet solo on Messiaen’s ‘quatour pour la fin du temps’ (quartet for the end of time) which is soooooooo beautiful, but am dubious to its technical significance.
Once those are done I can send off my audition tape and get on with funking it up.
But anyway, traffic warden, I must admit I have a bit of bias when it comes to fucking spotless Land Rover Discovery 3s that are 10 minutes out of time over messy skoda s with a kids seat in the back. But its cool and I execute my job with professionalism. Much better than a job selling deckchairs or ice cream, which I was planning to do at one stage.
But I was only there 3 days (enough to complete my training) before disappearing off to the World of Music and Dance otherwise known as WOMAD. It isn’t really a world of dance, cos everyone is middle aged with kids and has too much money in their pockets to shake their booty effectively (Mbira queen stella chiweshe had to positively cajoled the audience into standing up during her second set) HOWEVER, it was certainly a world of music and was I think the best festival I have been to (possibly with the exception of Glastonbury with Radiohead, sigur ros, and belle and Sebastian etc) in terms of music. I won’t bore you with lots of superlatives about bands I already like, but I will give you the name of ‘Think of One’, a Belgium afro-beat/funk/summer vibey fusion band led by a delightful 67 year old Eritrean lady. OOOh and Stella said (in that superb deep Zimbabwean female husk) ‘listen….we are all talking about forgiving each other….isn’t it about time we forgave ourselves?’ I know a few people who should listen to that lady.
It was sunny the whole time except for when FEMI KUTI (fela kuti’s son but a wicked musician in his own right and a very beautiful man) played, when the rain belted down. After my radical haircut the backs of my ears got very burned.
My cousins were also there, 17 and 15, very much into getting wasted the whole time, made me reminiscent. Met a great chap called Joe from leeds there, I was recycling with him (15 hours emptying bins and giving out bags and I got a free ticket) and we talked solidly for 3 hours about everything in one of those FAST HARD connections you make with someone. He had recently given up weed cos it was shooting him through. It seems to be making more and more sense to follow him.
And then another overpriced ticket home with GNER before sound wave. For those that don’t know, it is a one day free festival run by and for young people, that each year is a bit of a miracle (that it happens and is successful) and an event that I have been as involved as I can be in for the past…4 years. This year it was being almost entirely organised by 16 year olds and below (understand the logistics of putting on a whole festival) and, although there weren’t as many people as usual and in my opinion the music wasn’t as full of gems as it usually is, it was cool and a nice vibe. However, I was really tired after WOMAD and my playing- with Protocol (Mbira for sam’s band), Ozzy’s new band (sax) and as myself with Billy Bass and burgeoning young MC Jo was average at best. I was hoping to really engage the crowd with my Mbira, especially with Billy’s wicked beats, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe I was just dehydrated, too stoned/not stoned enough and tired, but I walked away unhappy.
And now for the best snapshot of my life at the moment (which, after all, is what this blog is for, both for you and me), I have to go cos I have a million things to do, not least go to sams for a spliff and jam.
See you
1/8/06
At least five of my friends are going noticeably mad. The line between theoretical moriarty/plathy madness that we once revelled in and not being able to hold it down is blurring.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
GNER can suck my willy…
…though they would probably charge me for it, cos they are CUNTS. Don’t want to bore you with the history of my slow descent into hating what is, on the face of it, only a high-speed train company but right now as I try to book my train ticket to WOMAD the cheap ones’ link says that there is a problem and the train migth be full, but the expensive tickets…. Are still available and with no technical cock up. Bastards.
But anyway, today, Saturday, I am tired, and things seem worse than they are. Been working my arse off since Wednesday serving tea and pints of Tetleys to old people at Scarborough cricket club. Quite nice actually but tiring. It was Yorkshire vs. Warwickshire and Yorkshire won it with an innings to spare, with a 18 year old spin bowler called Rashid getting 6 wickets on his debut. Not very interesting apart from the massive amounts of racism among Yorkshire supporters (where Rashid was the ‘surprising little nigger’ and even Australians are not Australians but ‘foreigners’.) and watching them being slowly but undeniably won over. I guess at headingly this was dealt with 20 years ago (after all, there must be shiploads of good Indian cricketers in Leeds) but Scarborough, as with everything, has not quite caught up yet. Soon they will all die though
Got a new job aswell! As a traffic warden. Yeah I know. Crazy stuff, but I get to be outside all day, fuck over car owners and walk around the seafront a lot. Hannah accused me of being a tool of the state but I responded that in an anarchic non-state a)there wouldn’t be as many cars and b)those that there were would understand that you need to park where you aren’t interfering with others and so there wouldn’t need to be any traffic wardens (or, if you look at it the other way, everyone would be their own traffic warden. Collective responsibility.)
But working so much (yesterday I worked 930 am till 10pm) has hindered my clarinet stuff.
I feel like I am waffling a bit in the way that people who work to hard do, so the remainder of this blog will be a post from my friend Jess, from South London, who has just got back from Lebanon (hope you don’t mind jess)…
When the israelis first invaded i was on a beach in the middle of a huge banana plantation south of Beirut near Sidon. i was fried at three in the afternoon on almaza beer etc as i saw the Palestinian refugee camps in and around Sidon burn from a distance. Black smoke coursed into the feverishly blue sky as jefferson airplane played white rabbit from my friend's car. The heat was creating those anxious waves of tension in the air, quavering and panicky. But at first it all seemed routine. My Lebanese friends were so crushingly used to bombings and suffering. Israel, Hezbollah, Syria; all carry out their dirty wars on Lebanese soil, all have their own agenda and interests to further. This is what they do. Who asked Hezbollah to drag the people of Lebanon into a bombardment that would cost over 300 of them (and counting) their lives, families and homes? The Israelis systematically slaughtered the Lebanese and Palestians during the civil war and since that time have periodically slammed the country up against the wall, just to remind it of it's place in the grand scheme of things. There are hundreds of Arab prisoners currently languishing in Israeli jails, and countless more have been butchered by the fortress state. But of course, it is impossible, UNTHINKABLE, for mainstream media coverage and intellectual opinion to concieve of Israeli state terrorism and outright aggression as anything other than "retribution", "retalitation" or "self-defence" in the face of a cruel and all but overpowering Arab attack, triggered not by political oppression and genocide, but by some inherent defect in the Arab nature. Palestinans, Lebanese and the Arab world in general are portrayed as possessing an inexplicable and inexcusable predeliction toward senseless violence against their benevolent and peace-loving neighbour, "the beautiful Israel". To me, that this view is so widely and unquestioningly held seems an example of Western propaganda at its most sophisticated.
after a couple of days, the majority of my friends and people on the course decided to go and stay at the University campus in Jbail (Byblos), about a twenty minute drive north of Beirut in the mountains. That night I stayed in Beirut with Laila and Tynan. Despite being the fourth most powerful military force on the globe (i believe), Israel rarely strike during daylight. Their preferred time for carnage and destruction (generally in the dead of night rather than in the open sun) goes hand in hand with the cowardice they display in their preferred choice of targets, cosily referred to as "soft": ie civilians, homes, schools and clinics. On Friday however, they started hitting while the sun was still in the sky, around 7pm. The bombs were louder than I'd heard before, closer and deeper. The window of Laila's room was open and through it we smelled (and even tasted I think) the nearby bombs. A rumour started circulating that one of the bombs had killed Sheikh Nasrallah. When the truth came that he was still alive there were men shouting "allahu ahkbar" (god is great) from cars in Beirut's otherwise completely deserted streets. From then on, me and Laila stayed in her room knocking back microwaved cups in instant coffee from the sample packets of Nescafe I'd had the foresight and bad taste to nick from the university lounge that morning (stolen sample packets Hannah, I assure you, promise have not actively bought any nescafe!) We kept waiting and waiting for something to happen. At 3am we started to worry. The Israelis's hadn't hit so what were they planning? Would they send in troops? It was worse to hear nothing. When a wasp gets into your bedroom at night, it is always more reassuring to be able to see it right in front of you than have it's furious, spiteful rage near you undetected. At four am the call to prayer started. We were situated in West Beirut, right in between two mosques. five times a day, the mosques would boom out the call to prayer, the two voices running together to create a sound of indescribable, quavering melancholy. They started bombing at four, during the call to prayer. I was in the kitchen making another cup of coffee. the window was jammed open and through it flowed the words of the Quran together with the sounds of the Israeli bombardment. afterwards, they put a message out over the city, by the same person who put out the call to prayer. They told Beirut in Arabic that the Israelis had come, to fight them. the word israel in arabic sounds deeply malevolent. all i can hear in my mind now is that word being sung out over my ghost city...."iz raaaaaa eeeeel....iz raaaaaa eeeeel". The flourescent hospital lights in the kitched flickered on and off. Four hours later we packed up our things and took a bus to Jbail, where we stayed till we were evacuated.
That night Laila and I both, on seperate occaissions when writing about the situation, referred to the Israeli state as "the basilisk". Quelle chance.
After that we stayed in the mountains, binge eating nutella and biscotti. Each day we would hear the media ponderings as to whether the poor, innocent Americans and British could survive the horrors of the war, armed only with their Western passports, influential governments and rich daddies. Barbaric violence against the Lebanese is not only condoned, it seems not even to be considered. Over the weekend one of my friends went back into Beirut to collect her things. While she was there she found one of the flyers the Israelis drop on the areas they are about to bomb. Roughly translated from Arabic, the flyer reads:
"It is said that those who sleep between the graves will have nightmares. Israel is a powerful nation and will do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of its citizens."
Once the Americans and Europeans have left, the Israeli poets of death will really begin to embark on their grotesque designs for the people of Lebanon in true earnest.
It is the end of July, high summer in Beirut, but the sun hasn't shone since the Israelis invaded. From my balcony In Jbail we had a view of the whole coastline; those teetering tower blocks, the ocean stretching out into mist and haze, shimmering like heat on a mirror. at first I thought it was clouds that had stopped the sun from beating down on the glassy panorama. But clouds have definition, form, an faint but nevertheless discernable anatomy. This was murk, gloom, the soup of nothingness, a grey veil draped over the Lebanese coastline. Next to our campus was an old, deteriorating hotel. That double sided cross, sign of the Lebanese forces, was emblazoned on the door. The sign fixed atop the hotel proclaimed it be "The Comfort Zone".
> From Friday to Thursday there were constant rumours that the British and
Americans would be coming. In the end, it was the Americans who came first. Almost all the Americans at the University left suddenly, in a rush. After watching them get loaded into the busses, I went back to my room and found your note Laila. Thank you. My sentiments exactly.
On Thursday I went down to the ports with the three British girls from the programme, Ellie, Layla F. and Angela (ehup guys!). We waited for eight hours, but in the end it took too long to get everyone on the boats. The Israelis said our window of opportunity had gone, they wanted to start their air strikes again. So we went home
The next day we managed to get out. We were flown by helicopter (the spit of those ones from Apocalyse Now, sorry for the pop-cult vulgarity, but it's gotta be done) to the warship HMS Illustrious. We went round in circles in the Meditteranean for five hours, while the helicopters picked up more people from the ports. From their they 'copptered us to Cyprus, from there a flight to Manchester, train to London, tube to Victoria and then train to Brighton. And now, after a few hours drinking tea and smoking, here i sit before the computer screen.
I didn't want to go, I really didn't. It's so much more painful to watch Beirut burn from a distance than it would have been to stay there with it. I think that's everything.
But anyway, today, Saturday, I am tired, and things seem worse than they are. Been working my arse off since Wednesday serving tea and pints of Tetleys to old people at Scarborough cricket club. Quite nice actually but tiring. It was Yorkshire vs. Warwickshire and Yorkshire won it with an innings to spare, with a 18 year old spin bowler called Rashid getting 6 wickets on his debut. Not very interesting apart from the massive amounts of racism among Yorkshire supporters (where Rashid was the ‘surprising little nigger’ and even Australians are not Australians but ‘foreigners’.) and watching them being slowly but undeniably won over. I guess at headingly this was dealt with 20 years ago (after all, there must be shiploads of good Indian cricketers in Leeds) but Scarborough, as with everything, has not quite caught up yet. Soon they will all die though
Got a new job aswell! As a traffic warden. Yeah I know. Crazy stuff, but I get to be outside all day, fuck over car owners and walk around the seafront a lot. Hannah accused me of being a tool of the state but I responded that in an anarchic non-state a)there wouldn’t be as many cars and b)those that there were would understand that you need to park where you aren’t interfering with others and so there wouldn’t need to be any traffic wardens (or, if you look at it the other way, everyone would be their own traffic warden. Collective responsibility.)
But working so much (yesterday I worked 930 am till 10pm) has hindered my clarinet stuff.
I feel like I am waffling a bit in the way that people who work to hard do, so the remainder of this blog will be a post from my friend Jess, from South London, who has just got back from Lebanon (hope you don’t mind jess)…
When the israelis first invaded i was on a beach in the middle of a huge banana plantation south of Beirut near Sidon. i was fried at three in the afternoon on almaza beer etc as i saw the Palestinian refugee camps in and around Sidon burn from a distance. Black smoke coursed into the feverishly blue sky as jefferson airplane played white rabbit from my friend's car. The heat was creating those anxious waves of tension in the air, quavering and panicky. But at first it all seemed routine. My Lebanese friends were so crushingly used to bombings and suffering. Israel, Hezbollah, Syria; all carry out their dirty wars on Lebanese soil, all have their own agenda and interests to further. This is what they do. Who asked Hezbollah to drag the people of Lebanon into a bombardment that would cost over 300 of them (and counting) their lives, families and homes? The Israelis systematically slaughtered the Lebanese and Palestians during the civil war and since that time have periodically slammed the country up against the wall, just to remind it of it's place in the grand scheme of things. There are hundreds of Arab prisoners currently languishing in Israeli jails, and countless more have been butchered by the fortress state. But of course, it is impossible, UNTHINKABLE, for mainstream media coverage and intellectual opinion to concieve of Israeli state terrorism and outright aggression as anything other than "retribution", "retalitation" or "self-defence" in the face of a cruel and all but overpowering Arab attack, triggered not by political oppression and genocide, but by some inherent defect in the Arab nature. Palestinans, Lebanese and the Arab world in general are portrayed as possessing an inexplicable and inexcusable predeliction toward senseless violence against their benevolent and peace-loving neighbour, "the beautiful Israel". To me, that this view is so widely and unquestioningly held seems an example of Western propaganda at its most sophisticated.
after a couple of days, the majority of my friends and people on the course decided to go and stay at the University campus in Jbail (Byblos), about a twenty minute drive north of Beirut in the mountains. That night I stayed in Beirut with Laila and Tynan. Despite being the fourth most powerful military force on the globe (i believe), Israel rarely strike during daylight. Their preferred time for carnage and destruction (generally in the dead of night rather than in the open sun) goes hand in hand with the cowardice they display in their preferred choice of targets, cosily referred to as "soft": ie civilians, homes, schools and clinics. On Friday however, they started hitting while the sun was still in the sky, around 7pm. The bombs were louder than I'd heard before, closer and deeper. The window of Laila's room was open and through it we smelled (and even tasted I think) the nearby bombs. A rumour started circulating that one of the bombs had killed Sheikh Nasrallah. When the truth came that he was still alive there were men shouting "allahu ahkbar" (god is great) from cars in Beirut's otherwise completely deserted streets. From then on, me and Laila stayed in her room knocking back microwaved cups in instant coffee from the sample packets of Nescafe I'd had the foresight and bad taste to nick from the university lounge that morning (stolen sample packets Hannah, I assure you, promise have not actively bought any nescafe!) We kept waiting and waiting for something to happen. At 3am we started to worry. The Israelis's hadn't hit so what were they planning? Would they send in troops? It was worse to hear nothing. When a wasp gets into your bedroom at night, it is always more reassuring to be able to see it right in front of you than have it's furious, spiteful rage near you undetected. At four am the call to prayer started. We were situated in West Beirut, right in between two mosques. five times a day, the mosques would boom out the call to prayer, the two voices running together to create a sound of indescribable, quavering melancholy. They started bombing at four, during the call to prayer. I was in the kitchen making another cup of coffee. the window was jammed open and through it flowed the words of the Quran together with the sounds of the Israeli bombardment. afterwards, they put a message out over the city, by the same person who put out the call to prayer. They told Beirut in Arabic that the Israelis had come, to fight them. the word israel in arabic sounds deeply malevolent. all i can hear in my mind now is that word being sung out over my ghost city...."iz raaaaaa eeeeel....iz raaaaaa eeeeel". The flourescent hospital lights in the kitched flickered on and off. Four hours later we packed up our things and took a bus to Jbail, where we stayed till we were evacuated.
That night Laila and I both, on seperate occaissions when writing about the situation, referred to the Israeli state as "the basilisk". Quelle chance.
After that we stayed in the mountains, binge eating nutella and biscotti. Each day we would hear the media ponderings as to whether the poor, innocent Americans and British could survive the horrors of the war, armed only with their Western passports, influential governments and rich daddies. Barbaric violence against the Lebanese is not only condoned, it seems not even to be considered. Over the weekend one of my friends went back into Beirut to collect her things. While she was there she found one of the flyers the Israelis drop on the areas they are about to bomb. Roughly translated from Arabic, the flyer reads:
"It is said that those who sleep between the graves will have nightmares. Israel is a powerful nation and will do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of its citizens."
Once the Americans and Europeans have left, the Israeli poets of death will really begin to embark on their grotesque designs for the people of Lebanon in true earnest.
It is the end of July, high summer in Beirut, but the sun hasn't shone since the Israelis invaded. From my balcony In Jbail we had a view of the whole coastline; those teetering tower blocks, the ocean stretching out into mist and haze, shimmering like heat on a mirror. at first I thought it was clouds that had stopped the sun from beating down on the glassy panorama. But clouds have definition, form, an faint but nevertheless discernable anatomy. This was murk, gloom, the soup of nothingness, a grey veil draped over the Lebanese coastline. Next to our campus was an old, deteriorating hotel. That double sided cross, sign of the Lebanese forces, was emblazoned on the door. The sign fixed atop the hotel proclaimed it be "The Comfort Zone".
> From Friday to Thursday there were constant rumours that the British and
Americans would be coming. In the end, it was the Americans who came first. Almost all the Americans at the University left suddenly, in a rush. After watching them get loaded into the busses, I went back to my room and found your note Laila. Thank you. My sentiments exactly.
On Thursday I went down to the ports with the three British girls from the programme, Ellie, Layla F. and Angela (ehup guys!). We waited for eight hours, but in the end it took too long to get everyone on the boats. The Israelis said our window of opportunity had gone, they wanted to start their air strikes again. So we went home
The next day we managed to get out. We were flown by helicopter (the spit of those ones from Apocalyse Now, sorry for the pop-cult vulgarity, but it's gotta be done) to the warship HMS Illustrious. We went round in circles in the Meditteranean for five hours, while the helicopters picked up more people from the ports. From their they 'copptered us to Cyprus, from there a flight to Manchester, train to London, tube to Victoria and then train to Brighton. And now, after a few hours drinking tea and smoking, here i sit before the computer screen.
I didn't want to go, I really didn't. It's so much more painful to watch Beirut burn from a distance than it would have been to stay there with it. I think that's everything.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Scarborough and Diminished 5ths
Have got further wrapped up in the seemingly tangible possibilities of playing Jazz music this week. It has been a combination of my visit to Hannah and Glasgow the other week when Jazz and Jazzers were everywhere, reading a Miles Davis biography and for the first time (you may be surprised) being able to practice with any sort of continuity. I am in the process of learning all my scales, before I apply them to the monster ‘Building a Jazz Vocabulary” book that I bought a couple of years ago in a fit of inspiration. When it arrived I realised I needed to know my scales before could do anything else and never got around to doing it. However, with California offering ‘History of Jazz’ aswell as ‘Beginning Jazz Improvisation’ I certainly want to know what I am talking about verbally and tonally before I get there, and now is the time.
This also solves the problem of the happiness/lyrics conundrum- basically, I can only write non-political lyrics and emotional music when I am in the grip of an emotional rollercoaster or general slump in my relationship with the world. In the last year or so my life has been fairly blissful and so I have written almost no new music. Instead everything has been about jamming and the imperative moment. That was cool though, and perhaps what I have needed, but I feel now the time has come (I am 20 now for fucks sake!!) to get SOLID and pursue a four pronged musical sword to cut through people’s conscious and capitalism:
Prong 1- Be a faultless, original and dynamic clarinet and sax player that can add a handful of magic to any band or song and jazz it up like a motherfucker.
Prong 2- Be able to perform solo (for busking, open mics and travelling to start with) with Mbira/Clarinet/Guitar or whatever and build up a set using original, (maybe some non-musical like storytelling or…one of my lecturers at SOAS used to busk with banjo and puppet, which he controlled through movement of his shoulders) high quality material. The only trouble with this is that it will probably need to involve me singing, which gets harder and harder the more I smoke and the less confidence I have in it. My range has got lower, and with the exception of the Waterboys I have not found any good tunes that fit it (help!)
Prong 3- One day, perhaps soon, perhaps not, start a band that, like Pony Club, can be something I can put all my heart into and believe in. After the Ponies I was really chuffed with what we had achieved but mentally exhausted and had enough of all the things you have to do as a DIY punk band before you even get to play the music. And making sure the band was rehearsed and tight and not go on stage without the knowledge you are purveying a high quality, danceable, tight product. But now I feel I have the appetite to do it again, and now with a much better idea of the music I want to be creating. I am starting to master some computer programmes aswell, which means the flow of music between myself and collaborators can be fast and interesting (someone can do a beat in London, pass it on to me in Santa Cruz for melodies then back to Scarborough for mastering!!! And all the while there is a discussion about the music going on). Whatever it ends up as, the first gig is going to start with no lights and a Tibetan singing bowl.
Prong 4- Maybe once all the above is completed to a reasonable level, or has failed miserably, lose all sense of reality and start experimenting with sound till I die. I want to rebuild music from the beep.
What do you think?
_______
Incidently, had a lovely week this week- the sun has been shining over Scarborough and had some ‘moments’- sat with sam on a peninsula cliff thing at between cornelian and cayton bays and realising I could be in the Caribbean (the sea was turquoise, the sand almost white and no people!); biking to staxton (and the first place me and lizzie kissed) with sam, kai and james to visit sam’s old haunts and screaming down dirt tracks; jamming with james grunwell, ex-Frequency guitar player and good guy (played some clarinet on his mogwai-esque tracks- perfect); listening to Lauren bang out her first tunes on guitar; fast jams with sam; sam’s new drum machine skills with my Mbira… ahhh, life is indeed like a box of chocolates- you never know what you’re gonna get, but it is very likely to be sweet and chocolaty.
This also solves the problem of the happiness/lyrics conundrum- basically, I can only write non-political lyrics and emotional music when I am in the grip of an emotional rollercoaster or general slump in my relationship with the world. In the last year or so my life has been fairly blissful and so I have written almost no new music. Instead everything has been about jamming and the imperative moment. That was cool though, and perhaps what I have needed, but I feel now the time has come (I am 20 now for fucks sake!!) to get SOLID and pursue a four pronged musical sword to cut through people’s conscious and capitalism:
Prong 1- Be a faultless, original and dynamic clarinet and sax player that can add a handful of magic to any band or song and jazz it up like a motherfucker.
Prong 2- Be able to perform solo (for busking, open mics and travelling to start with) with Mbira/Clarinet/Guitar or whatever and build up a set using original, (maybe some non-musical like storytelling or…one of my lecturers at SOAS used to busk with banjo and puppet, which he controlled through movement of his shoulders) high quality material. The only trouble with this is that it will probably need to involve me singing, which gets harder and harder the more I smoke and the less confidence I have in it. My range has got lower, and with the exception of the Waterboys I have not found any good tunes that fit it (help!)
Prong 3- One day, perhaps soon, perhaps not, start a band that, like Pony Club, can be something I can put all my heart into and believe in. After the Ponies I was really chuffed with what we had achieved but mentally exhausted and had enough of all the things you have to do as a DIY punk band before you even get to play the music. And making sure the band was rehearsed and tight and not go on stage without the knowledge you are purveying a high quality, danceable, tight product. But now I feel I have the appetite to do it again, and now with a much better idea of the music I want to be creating. I am starting to master some computer programmes aswell, which means the flow of music between myself and collaborators can be fast and interesting (someone can do a beat in London, pass it on to me in Santa Cruz for melodies then back to Scarborough for mastering!!! And all the while there is a discussion about the music going on). Whatever it ends up as, the first gig is going to start with no lights and a Tibetan singing bowl.
Prong 4- Maybe once all the above is completed to a reasonable level, or has failed miserably, lose all sense of reality and start experimenting with sound till I die. I want to rebuild music from the beep.
What do you think?
_______
Incidently, had a lovely week this week- the sun has been shining over Scarborough and had some ‘moments’- sat with sam on a peninsula cliff thing at between cornelian and cayton bays and realising I could be in the Caribbean (the sea was turquoise, the sand almost white and no people!); biking to staxton (and the first place me and lizzie kissed) with sam, kai and james to visit sam’s old haunts and screaming down dirt tracks; jamming with james grunwell, ex-Frequency guitar player and good guy (played some clarinet on his mogwai-esque tracks- perfect); listening to Lauren bang out her first tunes on guitar; fast jams with sam; sam’s new drum machine skills with my Mbira… ahhh, life is indeed like a box of chocolates- you never know what you’re gonna get, but it is very likely to be sweet and chocolaty.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Bad places
Got back from Glasgow last night, missing Hannah, and in a bid to bring some normality to the situation got some resin. I asked Ambrosia, its previous owner, what he was up to. “I’ve got well into reading the bible at the moment- It’s much deeper than most people think!”. And so, over Yorkshire soapbar, he explained what he has gleaned from two bibles (one Catholic, one not), an astrology book and a Tarot book. Trouble was, although he went great lengths to explain the methods, we ’have to find out the answers for ourselves’ which would have been ok, had the methods seemed at least verging on flawless. When people go existential on me I want something concise and based. Especially when the subject is delivered as THE answer. In Ambrosia’s own words, “So many people believe in the bible, but the book is so unbelievable!”
Whilst I wondered whether I was being cynical and judgemental- ‘Perhaps this discussion is just the same as all the other BIG QUESTION chats, just packaged into a form that the orator really connects with, or happens to connect with him, and is giving him the revelations (without any real answers) that many have found through other means’- lee was looking worried. It reminded him of a bad trip that he was at pains to explain to me but couldn’t quite get there. Scales- of time, space, individual vs. universal- that were warped and very much to do with the self and relationships with it. He tells me it bugs him all the time. Can you be mad if you question your madness? Infact probably I think. WHAT DO YOU THINK (there is a comments button you can click)
Noianoianoia
I want to make some big statements here but they have already been made and I don’t think this is the right place for soapbox at the moment, just like soapbar only has its moments. And they are moments.
Whilst I wondered whether I was being cynical and judgemental- ‘Perhaps this discussion is just the same as all the other BIG QUESTION chats, just packaged into a form that the orator really connects with, or happens to connect with him, and is giving him the revelations (without any real answers) that many have found through other means’- lee was looking worried. It reminded him of a bad trip that he was at pains to explain to me but couldn’t quite get there. Scales- of time, space, individual vs. universal- that were warped and very much to do with the self and relationships with it. He tells me it bugs him all the time. Can you be mad if you question your madness? Infact probably I think. WHAT DO YOU THINK (there is a comments button you can click)
Noianoianoia
I want to make some big statements here but they have already been made and I don’t think this is the right place for soapbox at the moment, just like soapbar only has its moments. And they are moments.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Vivas
...
Back in scarborough
The adults aren’t enthusiastic enough to dance tonight
So Monday Club at Vivas is packed with old faces and foundation.
Old friends from primary, secondary and college
Friends of friends, enemies of friends
One bad memory ignores me
One bad memory smiles at me.
I smile back
Everyone has exaggerated the things I remember about them best
Almost like noone hides anything anymore, or have reached the nth point of where they were going.
Including the boys toilets, which are now plastered with hardcore porn.
Grimacing girls and loose vaginas.
Paul Murray must be in a sentimental mood.
Christie has too much make up on.
Ginger Lucy- her eyes glow- tells me that her message to the universe right now would be ‘I am pretty grateful now… sorry for dissing you for so long”… it takes me a while to understand.
Tanya is a self confessed party animal
Tom kisses another girl whilst looking at her
She screams in my ear
And I hear it as a whisper
£3 Kronenburg
Or £3.50 for a whole bottle of perry champagne
It can’t be that bad, right?
Later on a roof near the post office
Lee passes me a spliff and the moment and we are getting down to the bones of matters.
I tell him why I stopped hanging around with him for 3 years
By way of comparison to now.
We wonder what the best way to face the future is- sideways on?
Thank fuck both of us are not too paranoid at this moment.
We are all learning but facial expressions whilst we learn no longer come so readily.
today i am listening to: Giles Peterson's In Africa
Back in scarborough
The adults aren’t enthusiastic enough to dance tonight
So Monday Club at Vivas is packed with old faces and foundation.
Old friends from primary, secondary and college
Friends of friends, enemies of friends
One bad memory ignores me
One bad memory smiles at me.
I smile back
Everyone has exaggerated the things I remember about them best
Almost like noone hides anything anymore, or have reached the nth point of where they were going.
Including the boys toilets, which are now plastered with hardcore porn.
Grimacing girls and loose vaginas.
Paul Murray must be in a sentimental mood.
Christie has too much make up on.
Ginger Lucy- her eyes glow- tells me that her message to the universe right now would be ‘I am pretty grateful now… sorry for dissing you for so long”… it takes me a while to understand.
Tanya is a self confessed party animal
Tom kisses another girl whilst looking at her
She screams in my ear
And I hear it as a whisper
£3 Kronenburg
Or £3.50 for a whole bottle of perry champagne
It can’t be that bad, right?
Later on a roof near the post office
Lee passes me a spliff and the moment and we are getting down to the bones of matters.
I tell him why I stopped hanging around with him for 3 years
By way of comparison to now.
We wonder what the best way to face the future is- sideways on?
Thank fuck both of us are not too paranoid at this moment.
We are all learning but facial expressions whilst we learn no longer come so readily.
today i am listening to: Giles Peterson's In Africa
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